Catharsis!

I put the last touches on my manuscript today and sent it off to my editor. It is such a great feeling to be at this point in my second book. And I am SO glad I decided to write about this part of my journey! I can already feel the liberation kicking in!

You know, the funny thing is, I really didn't think I needed to write for catharsis. But I have been surprised at how much insight I have gained from my own writing. Going back through the entire manuscript this week and adding quotes to each chapter has shed new light on some unhealthy interactions I have still been "caught" in that I believe are a direct result of having been abused for so many years. I react in a self-abasing way to situations that I should not. I tolerate being condescended to when I should not. And I am still prone to emotional manipulation. I'm not completely where I want to be yet, but I'm thankful I'm recognizing it. You have to recognize it before you can change it.

Self-abasement is: voluntary self-punishment or humiliation in order to atone for some real or imagined wrongdoing. This is one of my worst traits. God, please help me to stop this! It is a pit I am so prone to fall into! And that is not God's will for me!

John has given me so many pep talks on this subject. And I have not been able to fully see how destructive this pattern has been in me. But the lights have come on. And I think I'm ready to break a few more chains in my life.

I haven't settled on a title. I've had a few ideas. But nothing I'm absolutely sold on yet. I'm looking forward to suggestions from my editor. He thinks the title is extremely important. There is a much wider audience for this book than the first one and the title needs to grab the attention of that audience. It can't be ambiguous or confusing. For those of you who know me and are wondering about the content of this book, it is about the marital abuse I suffered for nearly three decades of my life (beginning at the age of 16). I'm encouraged by the feedback I have gotten from preview readers.

Several have told me the book has spoken to issues in their lives already, in its first draft. That is so exciting for me as a writer. It gives meaning to everything I have been through.

I plan to release this book in both paperback and ebook versions. And this time I do not plan to sell the books myself. I'm not good at that. You see, I have given away nearly a thousand dollars' worth of books with my first publication (more if you count the money I have spent mailing books as gifts). Once I broke even, it became so hard for me to take anybody's money. But I do pay for each book I have printed. So this time I promised John I would sell them through Amazon and Barnes & Noble. I hope all my friends will still want to read it. But I'm very glad I have written it even if nobody buys it. Seriously.

This book is more personal than the first one, if you can believe that.

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