Another quote...

"No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow."
~ Alice Walker

I love reading quotes and I read quite a few last night. I loved this one so much. I added it to my Facebook page, but wanted to share it on my blog as well. It is simple, but so profoundly true.

Sharing my perception of my own life's experiences and struggles has been highly objectionable to some. My personal growth as a human being has been completely unacceptable in certain relationships. But my silence has been a requirement in many. I don't just mean public silence. There have been people in my life who have never wanted to hear or understand me enough to listen with their heart. My feelings were either a personal affront to them or just an unwanted imposition on their time.

I'm learning to stop pursuing those kinds of relationships, but it's been a slow process for me. Marrying John has been a huge help. He sometimes thinks his words fall on deaf ears, but I really do spend a lot of time contemplating his insight when it comes to these kinds of disappointing relationships and the way I should detach from them emotionally.

When I was expressing the pain of loss I felt over certain relationships, someone recently suggested to me that I could have chosen not to express myself and possibly maintained those relationships. It was my choice.

I've thought about that a lot. My conclusion is: that's not a choice. When a person is not free to express themselves honestly without consequences (such as being vilified), there is no genuine relationship. There is only an illusion or a fantasy or a hope of one. Perhaps even a false hope.

This was my status update on Facebook a few days ago...
"Tonight I have been thinking about all my quirks, insecurities and flaws. I am humbled by my own inadequacy; thankful for God's grace and also thankful for the people in my life who love me exactly as I am: warts and all. This is truly a blessing that I do not take for granted."

Rather than focus on those who have asked for something I cannot give (silence), I am learning to focus on the many blessed relationships I enjoy today; relationships in which I am loved and valued for being who I am. There have been so many conditional relationships in my life, I truly don't believe I could ever take anyone's unconditional love for granted.

For so many years of my life, I did not feel unconditionally loved or accepted by anyone. Not even by God. But that isn't true anymore. And I'm so thankful.

One of my goals in this life is to love others unconditionally and accept them just as they are; not expecting them to meet any specific requirements or standards I set for them. Although I will never be able to remain silent when it comes to blatant injustice (and I don't believe I should), I don't want to be in control and I don't want to judge. I just want to give the love I have needed. I know that I can only do this when I allow the love of God to flow through me. I will have to get outside myself sometimes to do this. And sometimes I will fail. But God's grace is sufficient to cover all of my failures. And I know that His strength is made perfect in weakness. So I am never without hope.


Hey Miss Oblivious (I so enjoy your title!)as do I your posts. That's the secret I think--letting God flow through you and not feeling like it's us who has to be all-knowing, wise, loving,... He already knows you're perfect.
Shari said…
Marcia, you have no idea how accurate a description that title is of me! LOL.

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