Heading home...

We've had a wonderful, relaxing week at the beach and are getting ready to head home in a few minutes. I have not taken the time to write much on my blog because I've just been enjoying spending time with John. But I hope to get on here tomorrow and share some things. For one, I read a little book while we've been here that is just full of inspiration and had I been at home, I would have been inspired to write about what I was reading.

I really feel like God has given me tremendous closure on the past through the publication of my book. And now He is talking to my heart about forgiveness. Real forgiveness that lets go, doesn't need the person to understand the pain they have caused me; not needing to be understood at all ... just forgiving and relinquishing those hurts to God. Setting the persons free of any debt that is owed to me. I want to be able to do this so much and I am praying that God will enable me by His Spirit to really do this and never again dwell on any of these hurts.

There are not many people I feel I have anything in my heart against or need to forgive. I have made peace with so many aspects of my past and people who have hurt me. I've even had one very good and unexpected conversation with someone who wanted to ask my forgiveness as a result of reading my book. I feel like God has healed my heart and my emotions on so many levels. But there are a couple of people I have tried and tried to forgive for deep wounds and, although I have believed I HAVE forgiven and let those hurts go, God is showing me that I am still carrying that pain and I have not fully let it go (or released them from any expectation of an apology). I want more than ever to be released from everything I have carried in my heart over the years and I know that the vehicle of release is true forgiveness.

It's time to hit the road. I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight. And if I don't find the time to write more tomorrow, I will definitely be updating my blog after we have seen Dr. Flinn on Thursday. Thank you again for all your prayers!


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