Still up...

I'm the only one in the house still awake. The boys were tucked in by 7:30. And John went to bed about an hour ago. The only reason I'm still in the family room is that I am sleeping upstairs with the boys. So I can't crawl into bed and turn the TV on till I get sleepy. I'm really pretty tired, but not quite ready to crawl into a bed with a four-year-old just yet.

The boys seldom get through the night without having a dream, coughing, talking or crying out in their sleep, making noises. The first night, Joshua developed a fear of ceiling fans in the middle of the night. John is a light sleeper and sounds that I might not even hear would keep him awake all night. So I have been sleeping in one of the guest rooms with the boys since Sunday.

Andrew is on a pallet on the floor because I would be afraid he'd fall out of a bed with no rail on the side. Joshua started out on a pallet on the other side of the bed, but after he got scared the first night I decided to put him in the double bed with me. He slept better, but Grandma Shari didn't. I woke up sore both from being kicked and from sleeping in an awkward position (trying to avoid getting in his way). I had all kinds of kinks this morning, but I forgot them as soon as Joshua started patting my face, hugging me and saying, "I just love you, Grandma Shari." Andrew, who had a meltdown the night before, told me the minute he woke up this morning, "I'm going to be nice today." And when John got home from work, Andrew cuddled up to him on the couch and said, "Poppy John, I'm happy today."

I have thoroughly enjoyed my grandsons being here this week, but I have to admit how much I'm looking forward to sleeping in my own bed again and being back in the same room with John. I am looking forward to working out when I feel like it and taking a shower (or a long, hot bath) any time I want to.

One of the most amusing parts of this visit has been watching Joshua and Andrew drinking Ensure every day. I started buying it for John during chemo because he was losing weight and didn't have much of an appetite. For a while I was buying the Ensure Plus. But since he's gotten his appetite back, I have been buying the regular Ensure and he drinks one for breakfast every morning. The boys saw the bottles in the fridge when they first got here and asked if they could have some chocolate milk. I said, "Sure." I didn't know if they would change their minds after they tasted it, but they love the stuff and have continued to ask for "chocolate milk" every day. They have been well nourished in spite of the fact that I have not made an issue of well-balanced meals.

Well, it's after 11:00. I guess I can't put off going to bed any longer.


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