A Borrowed Quote

"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away." D. Craik

I just read the above in a status update posted by Scotty Smith on Facebook...and loved it.

For much of my life, I have only enjoyed that kind of comfort in a very few relationships. I have frequently felt misunderstood and misjudged by people close to me. And I've lived the majority of my life believing I owed nearly everyone an explanation for everything I said or did. (Part of this was my inborn personality and the other part came from the conditioning of my environment.) However, my life has changed so dramatically in recent years.

Today my life is overflowing with the comfort described in the above quote. I feel more secure, loved, accepted AND less misunderstood than I have ever felt at any time in my life. I no longer feel that I have to constantly prove myself to people, perform, or fit into someone else's "mold" to be acceptable and worthy of love. I seem to be surrounded by people who just love me and like me for who I am. Nobody seems to want me to change anymore. Even my husband, John, has never wanted to change a single thing about me in nearly seven years. And after so many years of never feeling "good enough," I still find this utterly remarkable.

I will never forget an occasion early in our marriage when I began explaining myself to John (because this is just what I always felt was required of me), thinking he might misunderstand my heart (the details I cannot even remember). At some point in my discourse, he gently interrupted and told me in the kindest tone of voice, "Sweetheart, you don't have to explain yourself to me. It's unnecessary. I know your heart." It seemed too good to be true. I had always just wanted someone to give me the benefit of the doubt. And now I had more than that. It seemed unbelievable to me that a man who had known me less than one year could know my heart the way John did. But he did. And he does. I never dreamed that I, this deeply insecure person, could ever feel so safe, so secure, or so loved. It's the kind of love that not only provides comfort, but healing.

A friend of mine, whom I've known since 2004, told me recently how much personal growth she can see in me since she first met me. She said, "When I first met you, you apologized more than anyone I'd ever met. You don't do that anymore. You've finally relaxed in your own skin."

She is right. I don't feel like I am a difficult person to love anymore. And a great part of this I attribute to the "comfort" of the many loving, uncomplicated relationships God has blessed me with in my "new" life; John being the most unexpected blessing of all.

However, it's much more. It goes even deeper than my marriage and my friends. It's knowing the Gospel. It's knowing that I am loved and accepted in Christ. I now comprehend that my value is found in the price God was willing to pay for my ransom. While I was dead in my sins, He loved and valued me. Despite my rebellion, He loved me so much that He did not withhold His own Son, but sent Him to die in my place.

Romans 8:32 (New American Standard Bible)

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person..."

The magnitude of the love I now feel from God is an inexpressible comfort.

Comments

justme said…
I really like that quote, too. The more I grow in Christ, the more I discover just how great His love for me(us) is...and vice versa. Great post, Shari!

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