So thankful...

I am just sitting here thinking about how much I have to be thankful for. I have been a bit melancholy today. Sometimes there are things that just hit you so unexpectedly that it takes a day or two to fully get your bearings again. And that's kind of what I've been feeling today; just processing all kinds of things I don't understand. But at the same time reminding myself that there is one thing that matters. In the midst of the storm, I just keep thinking about how blessed I am and how thankful I am for God's faithfulness and forgiveness in my life.

I can't change a single day of the past or anybody's opinion of me. But I am finally okay with that. No matter what happens in this life, it really is going to be okay. I have Jesus. He knows it all and He knows my heart. I am so thankful for His unconditional love and mercy. One day, everything will be made right. There is so much peace in knowing that.

I am also so very thankful for my wonderful, amazing husband. Obviously, the greatest demonstration of God's love for me is the Cross. But second only to Jesus and what He did for me through His life, death and resurrection; God has demonstrated His love for me most tangibly through giving me John. Until I met John, I thought that I was defective and unlovable. I truly believed I was a hard person to love. But not anymore. John makes me feel so easy to love. He is protective. He is always kind. He has never lashed out at me; not once. He keeps no record of wrongs. He is nearly perfect in my eyes. And I truly know how blessed I am.

God gave me a better husband than I deserve! And because I have experienced such unconditional, accepting, affirming love in my marriage, I now have a fuller concept of just how much God actually does love me in spite of all my flaws.

I am so thankful for the experience of a safe, secure and happy marriage. And on days like today, when I am processing other disappointments, heartaches and losses, I am especially grateful for God placing John in my life. I cannot imagine my life without him.

I heard in a Keller sermon recently that the love of a spouse can outweigh everyone else's opinion. If you feel loved by your spouse, if you feel beautiful to your spouse, nobody else's opinion matters. Keller was using this example to demonstrate Christ's love and how His love for us should eclipse everything else in our lives. Both are so true. I finally know I am loved and accepted in Christ, which is all the acceptance I really need. And I know that no matter what rejection I face in this life, I have been blessed with the love of the most wonderful husband in the whole world. I have never felt more secure.

Lord, please just keep me focused on You and on my Blessings!
My faith is in You alone!


Betty kirschner said…
I loved your thoughts on being thankful. The entire context is so true.
Shari said…
Thanks, Betty. I lived so many years of my life feeling unlovable. I knew in my head that God loved me. But I felt like such a disappointment and frustration to others around me and I transferred those feelings to God. I think that's why John has been so instrumental in my comprehension of God's love. I have finally realized that it is not hard for God to love me.

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