Your Plans; God's Plans

I apologize in advance for so much talk about my current writing project. I am consumed!

Yesterday was an amazing day of writing for me. I am nearing the point where God begins to lead me to my future deliverance. As I am writing about my first few days at Lispcomb and all the pain I was in at that time, I am feeling so excited that I will soon get to talk about the miraculous deliverance and abundant redemption He had planned all along for me! I get so emotional just reflecting on all that God has done in my life!

I'm learning a lot as I go. For one thing, I can feel like God is leading me to write something one day and then question that the next. I can even attribute something to God and then wonder later on if Satan had planted the thought. I have listened to a Tim Keller sermon from the book of Proverbs repeatedly (every time I get in my car) this week and the more I listen to it, the more I consider that, as far as this struggle goes, it may just be a decision I will have to make and give to God. Perhaps it's neither God or Satan; just my indecision. Trying to figure it all out can be exhausting.

I am a person who is racked with self-doubt all the time and in almost every situation. I scrutinize my every word and every possible motive. That's one of the reasons why I've had several emotionally grueling days over the past week. I've heard writers talk about how difficult the writing process can be; especially when writing about one's own life. Some of it is cathartic, but some of it is painful. It's seldom easy. And I am constantly thinking about how my words are going to impact the lives of others. That is the hardest part for me.

However, yesterday was a really productive day and as I finished another chapter, I was enveloped in God's love and mercy. I am so encouraged and I know that whatever is not clear to me today will eventually become clearer. Even when something is simply a decision I alone have to make, I believe I will be able to make a choice and then rely on God to bless or redeem it.

Keller talked in this sermon about how our lives are both determined and free (at the same time). He illustrated how every choice we make matters and will have consequences. Our choices belong to us. However, God's purposes are determined and His will WILL be done in spite of our choices. He talked about how passive we would be if we believed none of our choices mattered, but how PARALYZED we would be if our futures rested 100% in our own choices. He said, "If we believed our whole lives depended on our always making the right choices, we wouldn't even want to get out of bed in the morning!" Or we should feel that way because we should never be overly-confident that we are so wise we will always make the right decisions.

He talked about his percentages of right choices at prior times in his life. I think he's in his fifties now. And he talked about how he can look back on his thirties and see that at least 50% of the time, what he wanted would not have been good for him. He was grateful that everything was not resting on his choices. And then he said that although he thinks his percentages of wanting the right things has improved, none of us really know what our "percentages" are until we are looking back on them and see the way life unfolded.

God sees our entire lives and futures. But, while we are in the moment, we simply cannot know our percentage of right choices. Not everything is black and white, right or wrong. We have choices that are "legal" or "permissible" either way. But there are wise choices and unwise choices nevertheless. Therefore, the only way we can relax and have peace in our lives is by trusting in God's sovereignty over all our decisions. His purposes for us are determined and He will redeem our lives -- even our mistakes. Believing that really does give peace. I'm so glad I found that sermon and started listening to it.

The title of the sermon is Your Plans; God's Plans. It's from the Proverbs series. I highly recommend it.

The Proverbs Series - Tim Keller

Comments

Anonymous said…
Very timely,for yesterday I heard an interview about what we think we want or wanted my not be in the Lord's plan. The fact that the Lord sees our entire lives and future I have always found helpful. We can't dwell on what we wanted but accept the Lord's plan for this determines our Happiness and Trust in him.

The part about choices I found very inspiring,for every day is filled with choices,which influence our Happiness and relationships with others.
Betty Kirschner said…
Shari,anonymous hit the wrong button:Betty Kirschner

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