Respectable Sins

I have just finished the first three chapters of the book, Respectable Sins: Confronting the sins we tolerate (Jerry Bridges). I can already tell the deep conviction this book is going to speak to my heart. I felt so broken in spirit as I read the third chapter. I'm on the verge of tears even writing about it.

The intended audience for this book is you and me; believers. In the preface, Bridges explains, "The motivation for this book stems from a growing conviction that those of us whom I call conservative evangelicals may have become so preoccupied with some of the major sins of society around us that we have lost sight of the need to deal with our own more 'refined' or subtle sins."

In the first chapter, he addresses what it means to be a saint and used the church at Corinth as an illustration. "The church at Corinth was all messed up, both theologically and morally...Yet when writing to them, Paul addressed them as 'saints' (2 Corinthians 1:1) or as those 'called to be saints' (1 Corinthians 1:2)." He further explains that "The Greek word for saint is hagios, and it refers not to one's character but to a state of being." The literal meaning of the word is "one who is separated unto God." We are saints. Our conduct should reflect who we are and Whose we are. Bridges illustrates the point by using the analogy of being in the navy. He writes about the expression, "conduct unbecoming an officer." And he tells how that expression "covered anything from minor offenses resulting in a reprimand to major ones requiring a court martial. But the expression was more than a description of aberrant behavior; it was a statement that the conduct was inconsistent with that expected of a military officer...Perhaps we might do well to adopt a similar expression for believers: 'conduct unbecoming a saint.' Such an expression would pull us up short, wouldn't it?"

Bridges points out that "The Bible has a word for conduct unbecoming a saint. It is sin." But, like society at large, we often "live in denial of our sin."

In chapter two he discusses the disappearance of sin. As Christians, it's so easy for us to condemn the flagrant and obvious sins of the society at large, "while virtually ignoring our own sins of gossip, pride, envy, bitterness, and lust, or even our lack of those gracious gualities that Paul calls the fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23)."

I obviously cannot type out the whole book, so I'm trying to pick out a few highlights that deeply touched me as I read. This was a powerful paragraph that spoke to my heart:

Sin is sin. Even those sins that I call "the acceptable sins of the saints" -- those sins that we tolerate in our lives -- are serious in God's eyes. Our religious pride, our critical attitudes, our unkind speech about others, our impatience and anger, even our anxiety (see Philippians 4:6); all of these are serious in the sight of God.

The apostle Paul, tells us in Galatians 3:10, "Cursed be everyone who does not abide by all things written in the Book of the Law, and do them." That is why we need to seek justification by faith in Christ alone. Because "That is a perfectly exacting standard of obedience. In academic terms, that means a 99 on a final exam is a failing grade. It means that a misplaced comma in an otherwise fine term paper would garner an F. Now, happily, Paul goes on to assure us that Christ has 'redeemed us [that is, all who trust in Him as their redeemer] from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us' (Galatians 3:13). But the fact still remains that the seemingly minor sins we tolerate in our lives do indeed deserve the curse of God."

Yes, the whole idea of sin may have disappeared from our culture. It may have been softened in many of our churches so as not to make the audiences uncomfortable. And, sad to say, the concept of sin among many conservative Christians has been essentially redefined to cover only the obviously gross sins of our society. The result, then, is that for many morally upright believers, the awareness of personal sin has effectively disappeared from their consciences. But it has not disappeared from the sight of God...

...let me hasten to say that there are many godly, humble people who are happy exceptions. In fact, the paradox is that those whose lives most reflect the fruit of the Spirit are usually those who are most keenly aware of and groan inwardly over these so-called acceptable sins in their own lives. But there is also a vast multitude who are quite judgmental toward the grosser sins of society but who seem pridefully unaware of their own personal sins. And a lot of us live somewhere in between. But the point is, all of our sin, wherever we may be on the spectrum of personal awareness of it in our lives, is reprehensible in the sight of God and deserving of His judgment...But God has not forsaken us. For those who are true believers, God is still our heavenly Father, and He is at work among us to call us to repentance and renewal.

In chapter three, Bridges describes the malignancy of sin. And this was the chapter that evoked a deeply personal and emotional response in me. He describes how pervasive cancer is, how it systemically metastasizes into other areas of the body. It will eventually cause death.

Sin is a spiritual and moral malignancy. Left unchecked, it can spread throughout our entire inner being and contaminate every area of our lives. Even worse, it often will 'metastasize' from us into the lives of other believers around us. None of us lives on a spiritual or social island. Our attitudes, words, and actions, and oftentimes even our private unspoken thoughts, tend to have an effect on those around us.

This hit me hard. I don't ever want to be a malignancy in someone else's life. He further states:

Our speech, whether it is about others or to others, tends to tear down or build up. It either corrupts the minds of our hearers, or it gives grace to them. Such is the power of our words. If I gossip, I both tear down another person and corrupt the mind of my listener. If I complain about the difficult circumstances in my life, I impugn the sovereignty and goodness of God and tempt my listener to do the same. In this way, my sin 'metastasizes' into the heart of another person.

Sin, however, is much more than wrong actions, unkind words, or even those evil thoughts that we never express. Sin is a principle or moral force in our heart, our inner being. Our sinful actions, words, and thoughts are simply expressions of the principle of sin residing within us, even in those of us whose hearts have been renewed...

We who are believers tend to evaluate our character and conduct relative to the moral culture in which we live. Since we usually live at a higher moral standard than society at large, it is easy for us to feel good about ourselves and to assume that God feels that way also. We fail to reckon with the reality of sin still dwelling within us...

The acceptable sins are subtle in the sense that they deceive us into thinking they are not so bad, or not thinking of them as sins, or even worse, not even thinking about them at all! ...We often live in unconscious denial of our 'acceptable' sins.

We present-day believers have, to some extent, been influenced by the 'feel good about myself' philosophy of our times...Think of such tolerated sins as impatience, pride, resentment, frustration, and self-pity. Do they seem odious and pernicious to you? They really are. To tolerate those sins in our spiritual lives is as dangerous as to tolerate cancer in our bodies.

Bridges asks the reader not to throw the book across the room because the message thus far seems "dark and dismal." He appeals to the reader to stay with him because there is good news to come. "But for now, we've got to continue to explore the bad news. In fact, it is going to get worse. When we see how really bad the bad news is, we'll be in a better position to appreciate how really good the good news is."

And the next part is what convicted and grieved my heart most of all.

...God is said to be infinitely holy. But what does it mean to say that God is infinitely holy? Certainly it speaks of His absolute moral purity, but it means much more than that. Primarily, the word holy, when used of God, speaks of His infinite, transcendent majesty. It speaks of His sovereign reign over all His creation. Therefore, when we sin, when we violate the law of God in any way, be it ever so small in our eyes, we rebel against the sovereign authority and transcendent majesty of God. To put it bluntly, our sin is an assault on the majesty and sovereign rule of God. It is indeed cosmic treason.

He elaborates on what we do to God with our sin by telling the story of David's adultery with Bathsheba, and arranging the death of her husband to cover his sin. God sent Nathan to confront David. And Nathan told David he had despised the word of the Lord he had despised God. (2 Samuel 12:9-10).

Now, it is easy for us to think that David's sin truly was grievous and fail to grasp the application of Nathan's words to ourselves. But as we have already seen, all sin, whether large or small in our eyes, is against God. Therefore, when I indulge in any of the so-called acceptable sins, I am not only despising God's law but, at the same time, I am despising God Himself.

Our sin grieves our heavenly Father...Not only do we grieve our heavenly Father with our sin, we also presume on His grace...God always judges sin. But in our case (that is, the case of all who trust in Jesus as their Savior), God has judged our sin in the person of His Son. As the prophet Isaiah wrote, "All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all" (Isaiah 53:6). Shall we presume on God's grace by tolerating in ourselves the very sin that nailed Christ to the cross?

...And herein lies chiefly the malignancy of sin. Christ suffered because of our sins.

That, then, is the bad news about our sin, and, as you can see, it is really, really bad. How do you respond? Will you deflect it onto other people whom you see to be sinners? Do you find yourself wishing that a certain other person would read this chapter? Or does this view of sin cause you to want to fall on your knees before God in repentance and contrition over the sins you have tolerated in your life? If the latter is true, then you are ready for the good news, and it really is really, really good.

I am recognizing more and more every day how we cannot have the gospel, the good news, without first seeing our condition in its full malignant state. This chapter did not make me think about someone else needing to read this book. These words convicted my heart in a deeply personal way. I am guilty of tolerating these acceptable, subtle sins. And I don't want to.

My group will be here in a little while and I need to start cooking. We are going to discuss these first three chapters and I know I will be crying in my tacos. But I'm so thankful to feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit when I read about my sin. I don't want to feel good about myself. I want God to shine light on my heart and expose who I really am -- so that I may be transformed more and more into the likeness of His Son. I know it will not be complete until I see Him. But I want to reflect more and more of His glory, and never to presume upon His grace.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Awesome stuff, Shari. I believe whole-heartedly as crazy as it sounds that men who teach literal perfection don't take sin seriously enough.

"There are very few errors and false doctrines of which the beginning may not be traced up to unsound views about the corruption of human nature. Wrong views of a disease will always bring with them wrong views of a remedy. Wrong views of the corruption of human nature will always carry with them wrong views of the grand antidote and cure for the corruption."
- J. C. Ryle

The "cure" for the corruption is Jesus Christ. People who believe that they have not sinned in days have no idea the seriousness of sin and how pervasive it is to humans.
Luke 10:27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

There is not a man outside of Jesus Christ who has ever fulfilled that commandment for even a day. Love your neighbour as yourself, think that one through and see how we measure up on that one. It means literally what it says.

"Whenever humans declare themselves to be righteous they are doing it by contrasting themselves with other humans who are worse. And you can get away with that, but when your righteousness is contrasted with the righteousness of God there is nothing but to throw yourself down and declare your morality to be dung."
- Paul Washer

(sorry, had to post this one again, it is too good)

Todd E.
Why do I want to keep beating myself over the head about sin, mainly the sins that happen daily? Isn't it okay to feel good about yourself? I don't feel that any sin is acceptable and all should be treated equally. However, didn't Jesus die for our sins and don't we ask for his forgiveness when we do sin? God loves us through it all and it is up to us to make the changes to grow closer to him. But in reality, I personally find it hard to grow in God's word if I am not in a positive state of mind and having the Holy Spirit guide my thoughts and heart.
Janette said…
This was an incredible post, Shari. I, too, am guilty. I saw so much of the sin in my own life when reading the excerpts from this book you provided. I especially feel guilty about the probability of infecting other believers and non-believers with my sin. It's bad enough that I have this sin in my life and tolerate it by refusing to confront it and seek forgiveness daily but furthermore to infect my brother or sister with my sin? That really impacted me and deeply convicted me.

I'm very much looking forward to your posts on upcoming chapters - even the chapters where it gets worse - but especially the good news chapters. Then, when you're finished, I may want to borrow that book from you.

Thanks once again for sharing your wisdom and insight through your reading with us.
Shari said…
Hi Janet. I'm actually surprised that anyone got to the end of this post, considering how long it was. Thanks for your comment and heartfelt response. My response comes from my heart as well.

In no way am I (or the author) saying we should "beat ourselves up" over these sins. Yes, there is grace and forgiveness. I couldn't possibly type out every statement, but the author began by confessing that he is also guilty of these sins. And, as he said, the good news is coming. These are the first chapters of the book, which address our condition.

In the forward, he clearly states that we are not to wallow in our sin by beating ourselves up and being consumed with guilt. The remedy for our condition is Jesus. But the good news is even better if you really understand the bad news: our sinful condition. I wonder sometimes how people can be saved when they have no idea what they're saved from.

We have talked about this in past group discussions. And I realize we come to this conversation from different backgrounds and different points in our journey. I want you to know that I respect your opinions and value your feelings. You are such a precious person and I love you so much. In no way would I ever want to discourage you.

You mentioned needing to be positive. Well, conviction of our sins is a very positive thing if our goal in life is to glorify God. As Allen often says, "Obedience is the most dramatic evidence of our faith."

The point is not to heap guilt upon ourselves. But there is such a thing as godly sorrow that leads to repentance.

I said to the girls last night that the conviction I felt as I read these chapters was not an "I am worthless" type of beating myself up. Far from that. I am a child of God. I have tremendous value to God; but not because of the good He sees in me. He demonstrated my value to Him and His love for me by not sparing His own Son in His plan of salvation. His purposes for me are redemptive and positive. But if I already feel good about myself, how much do I cherish His redemption? Do I even comprehend what I'm being redeemed from? I truly do not believe in the prevailing message of feeling good about myself. I don't see scriptural support for that, although it is the theme of a lot of authors these days.

God spoke to my heart about some specific things as I read these chapters. I was deeply moved in confronting my sin. But it was a very positive thing and it is only through the Holy Spirit that our hearts are convicted of sin. How can we repent of sin we are not convicted of?

My heart is very sensitive to this right now. (There has been a lot going on in my life that I have not had the opportunity to share with you.) I know it is only through God's grace that I can even read this book and feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit to pursue more holiness in my life.

I know I can do nothing within myself. It is only because of the grace of God that is continually available to me and the forgiveness made possible through Jesus' death on the cross that I DO NOT rip myself apart and wallow in guilt and shame. Every day is a new day and a new opportunity to glorify God with my life. The more I see my sin, the more thankful I am for my Savior. I want that thankfulness to grow and grow and grow. And my gratitude for God's love, mercy and faithfulness grew by leaps and bounds as I read these chapters. That, to me, is a much more positive thing than my ability to feel good about myself. Feeling good about myself is WAY low on my priority list these days. I'm growing the most when I'm not feeling like I'm doing just fine.

I don't think there is any good in me apart from God's grace and Christ within me. The writer of the song, Amazing Grace, comprehended his condition when he wrote: "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a WRETCH like me!" That is exactly how I feel.

In spite of constantly knowing the wretch I am, though, I am continually encouraged in knowing how much God loves me. I want to respond to His love by loving Him and taking my sin seriously. It's not that I think I will walk in perfection today or at any point here on earth. I don't believe that. I will always stumble. But I want to live in obedience to His Word and be convicted of the sins I have been too accepting of. And the motivation for this is simply my profound love and gratitude for Jesus.

I hope this helps you to understand where I'm coming from on this subject. Since I have shared my testimony with you, you know my spiritual roots and what I thought God required of me in the past; sinless perfection in this life. Not Jesus' sinless sacrifice, but my own perfect performance and right standing standing. I can't explain to you what it means to me to know the truth of salvation after all those years of deception, bondage, hopelessness and carrying the weight of my inadequacy and sin upon my own shoulders. I don't carry that weight anymore and that is why this is not a depressing book or message to me.

The conviction I feel is rooted in my appreciation for God's goodness and mercy to me and my desire to live in such a way that conveys my love for God and points others to Him. I don't want to blend in with my culture. I want to be a light that shines in the darkness.

Also, as I mentioned last night, because of my past, spiritual deception is something I take seriously. I don't live in fear of it. But I ask God to give me wisdom and discernment that I would recognize deception. If I occasionally step on someone's toes because of my strong convictions, I always hope that they will love me enough to understand and forgive. I need the grace and mercy of my friends because I know I am so passionate in my convictions. That is why I am continally saying, "Take me with a grain of salt, but..." (And I love it when Dotty responds by saying, "Oh, I do!")

I am so long winded. Anybody who reads this surely must love me.

I would love your feedback. I value this type of exchange and the opinions of my friends. I would love to know if anything I've said has helped to better convey what is in my heart. I love you and miss your contribution to the group. Please feel free to just drop in for the relationship part any time. (I'm making chicken salad next week, if that is any enticement.)

More than anything, I hope you know how very much I love you and appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts on my blog. You are a treasured friend to me. Probably much more than you even realize.
Shari said…
Janette - thanks for your comment, too. I was typing my response to Janet while you were typing yours, I guess. I saw it after I posted. I know you can relate to this. I feel like I have been set free to obey by knowing the gospel. I know I am saved even when I fail. However, my motivation to pursue obedience has grown exponentially. I am more convicted of sin (and self-absorption) than I have ever been in my life. And I see transformation of my heart taking place (a work continually in process). I am so thankful. And I want my life to reflect it. When God looks down at me, I want Him to say, "She loves me" because I choose obedience. I want that more than anything and more than I've ever wanted it.
I also love the interaction that we can have. I never had the chance to respond to my brother about his spiritual statements, mainly because I wasn't a Christian and didn't know what to say! I truly respect your opinions and commentaries that you leave on your blog. I do enjoy reading them (even if they are long!) I do value your friendship and know that you've been through some tough times recently from what you've been able to share and I can appreciate how God is moving in your heart. Just wanted to add my nickel's worth to the conversation! Take care and see you soon! (I do love chicken salad!)
Anonymous said…
Good stuff Janette and Shari. Thought I would add a couple of comments that I have read recently that are related to the current topics.

"You can never magnify Christ enough, and you can never abase yourself enough and Christ is most exalted when you are most abased . . . and if Christ is to be precious to you, you must be vile in your own sight."
- Thomas Manton
1620 - 1677

"Let us not trifle with God or trivialize His love. We will never stand in awe of being loved by God until we reckon with the seriousness of our sin and the justice of His wrath against us. But when, by grace, we waken to our unworthiness, then we may look at the suffering and death of Christ and say, “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the [wrath-absorbing] propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:10). "
- John Piper



God bless,

Todd E.
Anonymous said…
Hello from PA.

Shari, I'd like to comment on something Janet said: "Why do I want to keep beating myself over the head about sin, mainly the sins that happen daily?"

We must remember that we are daily in a battle with the forces that would try to separate us from the love of God. Evil hates pure good and love and that is exactly what God is~thus the forces of evil try to destroy it any way that they can.

When we are reminded of our sins (particularly those daily tripups) it is evil trying to trap us back in guilt again. Janet was right when she said that we are forgiven, but we also need to remember that our sin is forgotten as well. What Jesus has put His name on is untouchable by evil, but we must be cognizant of evil trying to trap us once again. If we try to fight the battle ourselves, we will stumble and fall again and again. But with the leading of the Holy Spirit, we can overcome.

Always remember that there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God, not things above or below the earth nor princes nor principalities. God is indeed over all! When we bow to Him, we are covered in His grace. Remembering that helps us not to "beat ourselves up" over things and also leads us to be open to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Good discussion, Shari. I'll have to buy that book.

Alice
Shari said…
Alice,

Thanks for your comments. I was actually thinking about you today and wondering if you were reading, and if you might have something to add. I believe what you said is true. That is why it's so important not to lose sight of God's grace. The first book I read by this author was "The Discipline of Grace: God's role and our role in the pursuit of holiness." I think you would enjoy both. Thanks for participating in the discussion.
Love,
Shari