For Mom... Still missing you after 30 years!

Mother's Day ~ 2017

As Mother's Day approaches, I feel a little blue.
Thirty years have come and gone since I last bought a card for you.
The first five years, this day brought the worst kind of pain.

After thirty years, it's mostly the smiles that remain.

But I can't lie.

It feels like forever has gone by.

Instead of missing you less, I miss you more.

Though I'm fine most of the time, I still feel profoundly motherless at my core.

I'm happy and I'm really okay.

But how I wish you'd been able to stay.

Joys and sorrows we would have shared.

Through triumphs and failures, you would always have cared.

The older I grow, the more I comprehend how much you loved me.

And that it was never based on your perfect understanding of me.

As I write these words that I wish you were here to read,

I'd like you to know that your love I still need.

So I'm sad you're not here in physical form.

But on a brighter note, at least I get to see you in my mirror each morn!

I remind myself that one day, I'll see your face again for real.

And I promise, all my love and gratitude you will deeply feel.

The day you left is etched in my heart.

I'll never forget feeling your soul depart.

I want you to know that I ache to see you.

And I longingly hope you can't wait to see me too.

I realize when I get to heaven, there will be much to do;

Jesus to thank, my mansion to view...

But Mom, just remember,

there is no one I want to sit and talk with again more than YOU.