Getting Settled...

Where to begin this post. My thoughts are scattered, but I feel like writing.

First of all, a quick foot and shoulder update (for my friends). My feet are steadily recovering and the incisions are healing nicely. I apply Mederma 2-3 times a day. And I would share a picture, but they actually look so much better in person that I don't see any point in posting one. I'm walking better and I'm not in pain. But there is still a fair amount of soreness and a funny "lumpy" kind of sensation in the ball of my foot at times. I've read this is normal and some people describe it as having a pea in their foot. It's supposed to go away eventually.

My feet do let me know when I've been doing too much. And then I try to give them some rest. Dr. Yu said they would be sore for at least a couple of months and today is Day 37. But he also said I would only need pain pills for two days. And he was wrong. So, I'm thinking they will be sore longer than two months. But I'm okay with that. I timed this surgery perfectly. I have months of comfy sandal wearing ahead of me. And when I look at a pair of high heels, I don't think about wanting to wear them. I think, "Damage!"

My shoulder still aches, mostly at night and when I wake up in the morning. I know frozen shoulder can have lingering soreness for a long time. But what frustrates me is that the pain went away for a while. It didn't bother me at all during the moving process. But I did something one day right after surgery and aggravated it. When you cannot use your feet at all to move your body, you have to use your arms even to adjust your position on the couch or the bed. You don't think about it, but you are lifting your body weight. And one day when I did that on Connie's couch (I remember the moment), I felt like I pulled something. And it has been sore ever since. But it's not preventing me from doing anything and I'm thankful that the really intense pain is over. I'm going to have to adjust my thinking and realize that aches and pains are going to be a part of my life now that I've joined the over-fifty category. It's hard to accept that. I don't feel older in my head or in my heart. I feel exactly the same age internally. But physically, now that's a different story.

On the other hand, I am doing fantastic emotionally! I almost feel guilty. John is carrying the load of a new business and the stress that goes hand in hand with that. And my only "worries" have been things like finding a new hairstylist, organizing our home, making new friends and finding the best places to eat!

Speaking of new hairstylists and friends, I had the best experience yesterday. I've gone to the same stylist for over eight years. She is fantastic with hair and also became my good friend. I am emotionally attached to Kim Brown. So I was realistic in my expectations. I didn't think I could find someone I would feel instantly comfortable with. There is also the fear that someone will really mess your hair up with a bad cut! But, to my surprise, I have already found an excellent stylist and a sweet new friend. I'm living in a resort community and there is a spa right here inside the gates. So I went for my first appointment yesterday. And I left happy. Not only did my new stylist do a great job on my hair, but I really liked her personally and felt like we were instant friends. While I was there, she introduced me to a client and friend who also lives here in Glade. And we instantly connected as well.

I don't feel like I've lived here all my life, but I also don't feel like I have just moved here either. I feel at home. I had what a lot of people would consider a mundane day yesterday. But to me it was fabulous. Fresh hair. Two new friends (both eager to read my book). A trip to Kohl's for new towels (which just happened to be on sale). Delicious frozen yogurt (I get excited every time I discover a place the munchkins will like when they come visit). Grocery shopping in my new Kroger. Making a delicious dinner for John and me. Watching TV together.

I enjoy grocery shopping. When I was going through a divorce ten years ago, going to the grocery store was depressing for me. That is something I had always done as a wife and mom. I shopped for my family. I shopped for ingredients to make pizza and chocolate chip cookies for my son and his friends (through high school and college especially). I like to nurture people and food plays a big role in that for me. My son got married and I began divorce proceedings the same month of the same year. And I went from wife and mom to single college student. Every time I went grocery shopping, I felt alone. It wasn't that I no longer had a family, but I didn't have a family to shop for. And I felt the loss intensely -- for some reason -- every time I was in a grocery store.

So, even after almost nine years with John, I still think about how good it feels to go grocery shopping for the two of us. I can't begin to tell you how many times I'm walking down a Kroger aisle and thinking about how blessed I am. I love taking care of my husband; cooking meals for him and making our home a haven. Knowing that even if he does have work related stress, he doesn't come home to personal stress. He comes home to a wife who loves, appreciates, values and supports him. It makes me so happy to know that. Sometimes it seems (to me) like I contribute less than John does (since he is the provider and takes care of so much more than I do). But John never makes me feel like I don't contribute. He appreciates and values me for loving and supporting him. And he tells me that frequently.

You know, I still have to pinch myself sometimes. The saying is "I don't know how I got so lucky." But I don't believe in luck. I know I am specially blessed by God.

I know how I've been blessed.
However, I don't know why. I don't deserve the life I've been blessed with.
But I am SO thankful.