Day Two and Anonymous Flowers

John received flowers this morning from someone, wishing him success with his treatment and many years of happiness with his wife. Since the note referred to me as John's wife instead of by my name, we could only guess that the sender is a friend of his from years past, but there was no name on the card. We both wish we knew who sent them so we could say thank you. John even called the florist to inquire about the sender, but he was told that the flowers were ordered through a tele-florist online and the purchaser had not included their name. So we don't know if this was intentional or an oversight. But it was certainly a kind thing to do and we both appreciated the good wishes. Whoever you are, if you happen to be reading, thank you so much!

John was able to go to the dealership for several hours this morning, and he got his full infusion of fludarabine and cyclophosphamide in one hour this afternoon. I got to catch up with a friend I haven't seen in years downstairs in the atrium as John received his treatment (a high point in my day.)

After treatment, we went to Pawbowsky's for an early dinner on the way home. John ate a burger, part of a chili dog, fries and a few bites of my grilled turkey and cheese on sourdough. I'm thrilled he has an appetite and isn't sick at the thought of food anymore. Even though he doesn't feel good, he has been able to eat so much better since using Emend plus the Sancuso patch for his nausea. From listening to other patients, I know that calories are really important during chemo and having food in your stomach can help you feel better -- probably because it gives your body strength and keeps your blood sugar stable. So I'm always happy when he can eat. And I'm especially happy when something sounds good to him.

John gets so wiped out by the drugs that he fights to stay awake almost from the moment he sits down in the family room. But if he allowed himself to go to sleep, he wouldn't sleep at all during the night. So he tries to stay awake as long as he can. We are watching Wheel of Fortune, which has become a nightly ritual these days. LOL.

It's almost hard to believe that tomorrow, January 28, is John's last day of chemo for a while...hopefully a long while. I've looked forward to this day since September. So rather than allowing myself to worry about the depth or length of John's remission (which I have no control over), tonight I am determined to focus on having this difficult "season" behind us and hopefully getting back to a more normal existence soon.

A CLL friend (John Wagner) reminded me on Facebook this morning that he has stayed in partial remission for three and a half years (longer than some complete remissions). Reading that helped me to regain the proper perspective. I have felt much lighter today than I did last night. Thanks for praying.


Shari said…
The flowers are no longer anonymous. Thank you, Staci! The flowers are beautiful and we are still enjoying them!

The message Staci had typed online got cut off. Instead of reading "...and much happiness with your wife, Shari. Love, Staci" the note ended with "...and much happiness with your wife,"

Staci is Brittany's older half-sister. When Staci was a young girl, John was her hero as well as her step-dad. I know she loves him very much to this day.