Still have my joy...

It's been a good day. We went to get John's blood checked this morning and although his white count is still low, it is not as dangerously low as it was last week. After getting back from Nashville, John went to the dealership and I went grocery shopping. Danny, Rebecca and the boys arrived at our house at about 2:00. We were supposed to celebrate Christmas with them tonight. We were going to have tacos and open presents. They were going to spend the night.

After hugs and kisses, we admired Frosty the Snowman in the hallway and then I offered the boys an assortment of decorated cookies from Julia's Bakery. Andrew chose a snowman and Joshua said, "I'll have one a little later, Grandma Shari." That should have been the big red flag. What four-year-old turns down a cookie? Five minutes later he started to choke (or so we thought), Danny said, "Joshua, are you okay?" And he threw up out of nowhere. Party over. We were all looking forward to the evening and so disappointed, but we knew they would not be staying.

With John in the middle of chemo, he is far more susceptible to infection. His immune system is compromised and his body cannot fight infection as it normally would. Rebecca cleaned up so I would not be more exposed. We opened Christmas presents quickly. I snapped a few pictures. And then we said our good-byes.

I could feel my emotions very close to the surface, but I refused to be sad. I focused on how glad I was that I got to see the boys open their presents, even if they didn't get to stay all night. I kept my smile and told Danny and Rebecca that even though chemo is interrupting Christmas this year, at least it will be over before the new baby comes in April. John should be feeling much better by then and hopefully things will be back to normal.

Andrew was really engrossed in one of his toys and Rebecca had told him he couldn't open it and take the pieces out until they got home. So when Rebecca told him they were going home, he took it well. He came over, gave me a hug, and said, "We have to go to our house. Don't cry, Grandma Shari." It was so cute.

As they drove away, I could have cried. There were tears in my eyes. But I forced myself to think of how thankful I was that I got to see them, I got to watch them open their presents, and I got to spend a little quality time with their mommy and daddy. Thank goodness Poppy John was at work and not exposed. We have many more Christmases to look forward to in the future. And I quickly recovered.

I drove to the store and bought some Lysol so I could disinfect the carpet, the couch and the air before John got home. Then I made dinner and baked Romance Cookies.

Now that I finally have my Christmas spirit, I am not about to lose it.

Comments

Danny Bryant said…
it still sucks.

i love you.