Five years ago tonight...
Five years ago tonight I met John for the first time. Most of you know the story. I was a 44 year old junior in college, recently single. And I thought it would be fun to explore the world of Internet dating on Match.com. I kept my profile hidden so nobody could even see that I was there. And I just shopped profiles for the fun of it. It was a nice diversion while writing papers and studying for exams. Occasionally, I would see a profile that looked interesting to me and I would send an email. I could share my profile privately if I chose to. I just didn't put it out there for public viewing. If I emailed someone, I sent my profile.
I went on more than a few lunch dates. I met for coffee at Starbucks. I went to see a movie or two. I made a lot of email friends and talked to some of them on the phone. I never met anyone who was crazy or unusual. Just met a lot of nice people. I never had the feeling that any of these dates would go anywhere. I did not expect to find someone I would spend my life with on the Internet. I just thought that this would be a nice distraction and a way to make some new friends. I thought this would be a great way to deal with the lonely feelings one has to deal with after being part of a couple their whole life. I didn't know how to BE single.
This short process turned out to be a very good thing for me. It helped me shed the fear that I would be alone for the rest of my life and realize how many other people were in my same circumstances. It took very little time for me to recognize that I would definitely be in a relationship again. And being single wasn't really all that bad. I was having a good time and feeling more self-confident. I decided to enjoy the good things about being single until God brought the right person into my life and just stop worrying about the future.
Just about that time, I saw John's profile. I thought he sounded too good to be true. And I thought he was really cute. So I emailed him. This was on a Thursday. I shared my profile. Ironically, a friend had talked him into creating a profile. But he said it really wasn't like him to do something like that and once he did it, he kind of forgot about it. Unlike myself, he did not read other people's profiles or make the first contact. He just waited for someone to email him. And when they did, a lot of times he didn't even feel to respond. He would think, "Why am I doing this?" But he said there was something about my profile that was different from any of the others. He responded immediately.
We talked on the phone the next night. He said, "I guess we should meet in person at some point. What do you think?" He told me later that he expected me to say we should wait a week or two. But I said, "What are you doing tomorrow night?" And so we made plans to meet at Famous Dave's for dinner. That was Saturday, May 31, 2003.
We had fun. We talked easily. We told our stories. I'll never forget the way he listened to me. He held eye contact and paid attention to every word I said (and I talk a lot). He seemed so interested and engaged with the conversation. I never got the feeling he wanted to talk about himself. I had to ask questions to get him to tell me about himself. He had a great sense of humor and I liked that. I felt like I'd known him forever.
I headed home that night thinking I had met someone who would be a lifelong friend. I just knew we would get along and hang out. I didn't have any romantic inclinations that night. I just liked him a lot and thought he seemed like a great guy. I wasn't desperate to be involved with someone. Actually, he told me later that he could tell I was really enjoying dating and he figured that if he got attached to me, he might have to wait for me to get that out of my system (since I had been married all my adult life). Little did he know, I am not the "play the field" type. He had nothing to worry about there. What he was feeling from me was just that I wasn't feeling desperate to be attached to someone anymore. I truly believe God had to get me to that place emotionally before John and I could meet.
I had no idea what a turning point in my life that night would become. I had no idea I had just met the man I would spend my life with. I just knew he would be a dear friend forever. And I was right. The friendship came first and is still the most important part of our relationship. He wrote me the sweetest email that night after our date. I read it first thing the next morning.
We talked on the phone and emailed every day after that. And the following weekend, he took me on the most memorable second date I could possibly imagine. He invited me, Cheryl and Chris to see The Eagles in concert in Memphis. He didn't want anyone in my family to have any concerns about his intentions (since the concert was in Memphis) or my safety. The family member who was most worried about me during this time, of course, was Danny. I know he and Rebecca prayed many prayers for me during this critical time in my life. And I've told John so many times that we may very well be together because of all those prayers.
Chris and Cheryl instantly liked and approved of John. You don't have to be around him more than ten minutes to know he's a great guy. He gets along with everyone. He's kind. He's funny. He's warm and caring. He has no ego issues. Most of all, he's just so genuine and such a good man. There is no pretense about him. Danny was prepared not to like him (protective son and all). But after spending twenty minutes with him, he stopped worrying about his mom. He just knew I would be taken care of. He said he could tell by the way John looked at me.
The rest is history. We were married January 4, 2004. And I tell John all the time, "I still think you're too good to be true."
I went on more than a few lunch dates. I met for coffee at Starbucks. I went to see a movie or two. I made a lot of email friends and talked to some of them on the phone. I never met anyone who was crazy or unusual. Just met a lot of nice people. I never had the feeling that any of these dates would go anywhere. I did not expect to find someone I would spend my life with on the Internet. I just thought that this would be a nice distraction and a way to make some new friends. I thought this would be a great way to deal with the lonely feelings one has to deal with after being part of a couple their whole life. I didn't know how to BE single.
This short process turned out to be a very good thing for me. It helped me shed the fear that I would be alone for the rest of my life and realize how many other people were in my same circumstances. It took very little time for me to recognize that I would definitely be in a relationship again. And being single wasn't really all that bad. I was having a good time and feeling more self-confident. I decided to enjoy the good things about being single until God brought the right person into my life and just stop worrying about the future.
Just about that time, I saw John's profile. I thought he sounded too good to be true. And I thought he was really cute. So I emailed him. This was on a Thursday. I shared my profile. Ironically, a friend had talked him into creating a profile. But he said it really wasn't like him to do something like that and once he did it, he kind of forgot about it. Unlike myself, he did not read other people's profiles or make the first contact. He just waited for someone to email him. And when they did, a lot of times he didn't even feel to respond. He would think, "Why am I doing this?" But he said there was something about my profile that was different from any of the others. He responded immediately.
We talked on the phone the next night. He said, "I guess we should meet in person at some point. What do you think?" He told me later that he expected me to say we should wait a week or two. But I said, "What are you doing tomorrow night?" And so we made plans to meet at Famous Dave's for dinner. That was Saturday, May 31, 2003.
We had fun. We talked easily. We told our stories. I'll never forget the way he listened to me. He held eye contact and paid attention to every word I said (and I talk a lot). He seemed so interested and engaged with the conversation. I never got the feeling he wanted to talk about himself. I had to ask questions to get him to tell me about himself. He had a great sense of humor and I liked that. I felt like I'd known him forever.
I headed home that night thinking I had met someone who would be a lifelong friend. I just knew we would get along and hang out. I didn't have any romantic inclinations that night. I just liked him a lot and thought he seemed like a great guy. I wasn't desperate to be involved with someone. Actually, he told me later that he could tell I was really enjoying dating and he figured that if he got attached to me, he might have to wait for me to get that out of my system (since I had been married all my adult life). Little did he know, I am not the "play the field" type. He had nothing to worry about there. What he was feeling from me was just that I wasn't feeling desperate to be attached to someone anymore. I truly believe God had to get me to that place emotionally before John and I could meet.
I had no idea what a turning point in my life that night would become. I had no idea I had just met the man I would spend my life with. I just knew he would be a dear friend forever. And I was right. The friendship came first and is still the most important part of our relationship. He wrote me the sweetest email that night after our date. I read it first thing the next morning.
We talked on the phone and emailed every day after that. And the following weekend, he took me on the most memorable second date I could possibly imagine. He invited me, Cheryl and Chris to see The Eagles in concert in Memphis. He didn't want anyone in my family to have any concerns about his intentions (since the concert was in Memphis) or my safety. The family member who was most worried about me during this time, of course, was Danny. I know he and Rebecca prayed many prayers for me during this critical time in my life. And I've told John so many times that we may very well be together because of all those prayers.
Chris and Cheryl instantly liked and approved of John. You don't have to be around him more than ten minutes to know he's a great guy. He gets along with everyone. He's kind. He's funny. He's warm and caring. He has no ego issues. Most of all, he's just so genuine and such a good man. There is no pretense about him. Danny was prepared not to like him (protective son and all). But after spending twenty minutes with him, he stopped worrying about his mom. He just knew I would be taken care of. He said he could tell by the way John looked at me.
The rest is history. We were married January 4, 2004. And I tell John all the time, "I still think you're too good to be true."
Comments
What a sweet relationship you guys have and you're right - with an amazing guy that sometimes seems too good to be true. But, you deserved him and he deserves you. You're both lucky and blessed people and I love you guys so much. Happy 5th anniversary! :)
John said something so funny to me last night. Last night we watched "27 dresses" and when the movie ended, I asked, "Do you love me as much as the day you married me?" And John (being ever the goof) said back to me, "Much more. I didn't really even know you then." LOL. I died laughing.
We got married seven months after we met. And I felt like he knew the real me better than anybody had ever known me in a very short time. But it's true that we didn't know each other then the way we know each other today. : )
I loved the movie 27 dresses too. :)