The Discipline of Conviction
I have been wanting to get back to my blog, but needing to let my emotions settle down. I don't want to use my blog for an agenda. I'm trying to control my impulses to protect and defend. It would be so easy to share everything I'm hearing and thinking on my own blog. But I don't want to do that. I want God to give me wisdom in how to respond to all the chaos around me. I've made enough blunders in my life. Sometimes the best response is no response. But that is not my nature or my personality.
I picked up the book I have been reading this morning and started to read about the discipline of convictions. I'd like to share a passage from this chapter:
We can not develop Bible-based convictions merely by storing up Bible knowledge in our heads. We do not even develop them by personal Bible study and Scripture memorization, though those practices certainly help us get started. As we begin to meditate on Scripture consistently we come closer. But convictions are really developed when we begin to apply the teachings of Scripture to real-life situations.
My wife and I recently went shopping for a coffee table. We had agreed on the style we wanted and very quickly found one at a price within our range. I am the type of person who is ready to buy as soon as I find what I like, but my wife is a 'shopper.' She likes to look at everything in the store. Sure enough, she soon came upon her 'dream' coffee table, a rather uncommon design that she had dreamed about for years but never thought she would own. But as you might guess -- and as is always the case -- it was more expensive.
I started talking about being good stewards of the money God has given us, but God started 'talking' to me (through the convicting work of His Spirit) about husbands loving their wives, just as Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25). As I worked through that situation, I realized one of the concrete ways I was to love my wife was to be more sensitive to her dreams and desires. In that situation God was desirous that I know more about what it means for husbands to love their wives than that I be a good steward of His resources. But the point of my story is this: I knew Ephesians 5:25. I believed it, had memorized it, and meditated on it. But through the application of it in a real-life situation, I deepened my conviction about it. I have found since that incident that I am more sensitive to what it means in a practical way for me to love my wife as Christ loved the Church in a sacrificial, self-giving way.
So it is through knowledge, plus meditation, plus application of the Scriptures to concrete situations in our daily lives that we develoop Bible-based convictions. And, as we develop those convictions, we will be transformed by the Holy Spirit more and more into the likeness of Christ.
The above passage is from the book, The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges.
I could truly relate to this. The other night I allowed myself to be emotionally overwhelmed by the chaos swirling around me. I'm an emotional person by nature. But I have been caught up in such an emotionally charged set of circumstances with so many layers that it's been hard to disengage my thoughts for even a few minutes. In so doing, I have emotionally disengaged from my own life (including my husband). My husband said something to me in concern and I reacted defensively -- transferring and misdirecting all of that emotion. I wasn't mean to him. We have a very loving, harmonious relationship. I was just overly sensitive to a comment he really didn't mean to be as critical as I interpreted it. And the next morning, as we talked about how we were both feeling, he pointed out to me how all of this impacts me emotionally and even changes my interaction with him.
After I stopped being defensive, I started to think about how absorbed I had let myself become in my own pain, my own emotions, my own need to be understood. I had been so focused on my own feelings that I'd forgotten some of the major things my husband is dealing with right now and how kind he always is to me no matter how he's feeling or what he's going through. And he has some pretty big things on his plate right now -- even health-wise. We ended our conversation with the promise not to let external stress become internal stress. I later wrote him an email telling him how sorry I was for letting my own emotions come first.
As my heart became convicted once again of its selfishness, I was so thankful for the Gospel. As much as I am motivated by the desire to be a devoted and unselfish wife to John, it is my desire to stand transparent before God and have all my selfish motives revealed that truly convicts my heart and motivates me to reveal what I see in myself.
I picked up the book I have been reading this morning and started to read about the discipline of convictions. I'd like to share a passage from this chapter:
We can not develop Bible-based convictions merely by storing up Bible knowledge in our heads. We do not even develop them by personal Bible study and Scripture memorization, though those practices certainly help us get started. As we begin to meditate on Scripture consistently we come closer. But convictions are really developed when we begin to apply the teachings of Scripture to real-life situations.
My wife and I recently went shopping for a coffee table. We had agreed on the style we wanted and very quickly found one at a price within our range. I am the type of person who is ready to buy as soon as I find what I like, but my wife is a 'shopper.' She likes to look at everything in the store. Sure enough, she soon came upon her 'dream' coffee table, a rather uncommon design that she had dreamed about for years but never thought she would own. But as you might guess -- and as is always the case -- it was more expensive.
I started talking about being good stewards of the money God has given us, but God started 'talking' to me (through the convicting work of His Spirit) about husbands loving their wives, just as Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25). As I worked through that situation, I realized one of the concrete ways I was to love my wife was to be more sensitive to her dreams and desires. In that situation God was desirous that I know more about what it means for husbands to love their wives than that I be a good steward of His resources. But the point of my story is this: I knew Ephesians 5:25. I believed it, had memorized it, and meditated on it. But through the application of it in a real-life situation, I deepened my conviction about it. I have found since that incident that I am more sensitive to what it means in a practical way for me to love my wife as Christ loved the Church in a sacrificial, self-giving way.
So it is through knowledge, plus meditation, plus application of the Scriptures to concrete situations in our daily lives that we develoop Bible-based convictions. And, as we develop those convictions, we will be transformed by the Holy Spirit more and more into the likeness of Christ.
The above passage is from the book, The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges.
I could truly relate to this. The other night I allowed myself to be emotionally overwhelmed by the chaos swirling around me. I'm an emotional person by nature. But I have been caught up in such an emotionally charged set of circumstances with so many layers that it's been hard to disengage my thoughts for even a few minutes. In so doing, I have emotionally disengaged from my own life (including my husband). My husband said something to me in concern and I reacted defensively -- transferring and misdirecting all of that emotion. I wasn't mean to him. We have a very loving, harmonious relationship. I was just overly sensitive to a comment he really didn't mean to be as critical as I interpreted it. And the next morning, as we talked about how we were both feeling, he pointed out to me how all of this impacts me emotionally and even changes my interaction with him.
After I stopped being defensive, I started to think about how absorbed I had let myself become in my own pain, my own emotions, my own need to be understood. I had been so focused on my own feelings that I'd forgotten some of the major things my husband is dealing with right now and how kind he always is to me no matter how he's feeling or what he's going through. And he has some pretty big things on his plate right now -- even health-wise. We ended our conversation with the promise not to let external stress become internal stress. I later wrote him an email telling him how sorry I was for letting my own emotions come first.
As my heart became convicted once again of its selfishness, I was so thankful for the Gospel. As much as I am motivated by the desire to be a devoted and unselfish wife to John, it is my desire to stand transparent before God and have all my selfish motives revealed that truly convicts my heart and motivates me to reveal what I see in myself.
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