Chapter Two: The Pharisee and the Tax Collector
This chapter is about how we view ourselves and with whom we identify. It's about humility, love, and examining our own hearts.
Humbling ourselves and esteeming others above ourselves is like an exercise. I believe it starts out painful and does not come natural to us. Using the analogy of physical exercise, it always hurts to use new muscles. But humility grows less painful through repetition. I want humility in my life, so I want to embrace the opportunities to practice it.
There is always the risk of pain and vulnerability when we love others. I have not found rejection to bring any less pain through practice or repetition--so far, at least. But I still want to love.
And if we sincerely desire to see ourselves as God sees us, this may be the most painful and humbling endeavor of all. Because we want to believe ourselves to be good people. I know I do. And I don't know about you, but I have always wanted others to think I'm a good person.
As I typed those last few sentences, my mind went back to a conversation I had with a Christian counselor a number of years ago. I've probably told this on my blog before, but he asked me to tell him the three most important things in my life. I said that pleasing God was most important, being a good person was second and, probably, being a good person in the eyes of others was third. I believed my list was good. Why wouldn't I want to be thought of as a good person by others? Don't we all?
I'll never forget Floyd's reaction. He didn't exactly frown, but he looked sad for me. He kind of nodded his head, scrunched his face, and told me that last one was a definite problem. I didn't understand. I asked "Is it wrong to want people to think you're a good person?" To which he replied, "Did everybody think Jesus was a good person?" And I said, "Well, no." And the next question, "Did that matter to Jesus?" "Um, well, no."
He went on to explain that if what others thought of me, good or bad, was that high on my list of priorities, I would be motivated, at some point, to do the wrong thing or to compromise what was right in order to look like a good person in someone else's eyes. It is also much easier to be manipulated when we are that concerned with how others feel toward us. And, ultimately, it makes everything about us. I begin to anticipate how someone will respond to me, whether they might reject me, not love me or approve of me and then weigh my selfish desires against what is right, when they should not even be a part of the equation. That is making it all about me and my comfort.
Another frequent question I was asked in counseling was, "And who is that about?" I would describe a certain conflict and the way I responded to it. And he would ask that question. Time and time again, I had to face the truth about myself. I protected myself. I was trying to avoid unpleasant consequences (to me). I was enabling ungodly behavior because I was constantly trying to prove myself a good person and avoid rejection. Those are not fruits of the Spirit.
It was difficult to face the reality that so many of the things I was doing, thinking they were noble and right, were really all about me and protecting myself from unwanted consequences. Once I saw my true motivation, I knew I had to change. It was unacceptable to me to stay that way knowingly. But God had to reveal my heart to me. And I had to be willing to look at what He showed me. I had not realized what my true motives were. I thought I was being a good person. It was very painful to look at myself differently. But it was the beginning of a true change in direction, both spiritually and naturally. I started a process toward spiritual and emotional health with those first few steps. And the process continues to this day.
My friend, Janette, and I have had many deep discussions about how we are to view ourselves. Because she is my loving and devoted friend, she would often tell me that I deserve the new life God has blessed me with and I would say, "No, I don't." I wasn't trying to be humble. I truly do not see myself as deserving or worthy of any of God's blessings or rewards. I especially do not view myself as worthy based on my performance or obedience. We would go back and forth on this and I knew she was misunderstanding me, thinking I was terribly down on myself and having a low self-image. But that is hardly my problem. Rather, I believe the bigger problem is that I think more highly of myself than I should. And I want to counter that with the constant reality check that what I am truly deserving of is the death Jesus died. But, through Him, I have instead been given the blessings only His life can truly merit.
Bridges describes the two opposing attitudes of most Christians. "The first is a relentless sense of guilt due to unmet expectations in living the Christian life. People characterized by this mode of thinking frequently dwell on their besetting sins or on their failures...The other attitude is one of varying degrees of self-satisfaction with one's Christian life. We can drift into this attitude because we are convinced we believe the right doctrines, we read the right Christian books, we practice the right disciplines of a committed Christian life, or we are actively involved in some aspect of Christian ministry and are not just 'pew sitters' in the church."
Bridges explains that we may become self-righteous because we are not guilty of gross forms of sin; therefore, "we can begin to feel rather good about our Christian lives. When we think in this manner we are in danger of becoming like the Pharisee in Jesus' well-known parable (Luke 18:9-14)."
The Pharisee was committed in his religious practices. He fasted. He was not a robber, evildoer, or adulterer, and he gave a tenth of all his income. "To use our good-day-bad-day terminology, he was living in a continuous good-day scenario, or so he thought. But he had one fatal flaw. He was self-righteous and, through Jesus' parable, has become the classic example of religious pride and self-satisfaction."
Unlike the Pharisee, the tax collector was painfully aware of his sinfulness...Not only did he not compare himself favorably with others as the Pharisee did; he didn't compare himself at all. He was not concerned with how he measured up with respect to other people. He was concerned with how he measured up before a holy and righteous God. He knew he stood alone before God with his sin, so he pleaded for mercy.
Jesus said the tax collector went home justified, or declared righteous, before God. He freely and rather desperately acknowledged that he had no righteousness of his own, so he received his as a gift from God.
This parable speaks to all of us who are believers. Bridges confronted himself and his readers with some of the "refined sins," as he calls them, that we accept in ourselves as opposed to the "gross sins" we are not guilty of. He writes, "These are the sins of nice people, sins that we can regularly commit and still retain our position as elders, deacons, Sunday school teachers, Bible study leaders, and yes, even full-time Christian workers."
He looked at his own life and the first thing that came to his mind was his tendency to judge and criticize others, even though he does not think of himself as a critical or judgmental person. "Perhaps that is part of the problem. This seems to be such an acceptable vice among believers that we don't even recognize it unless it is flagrant--and always in someone else."
This paragraph hit me particularly between the eyes:
Even criticism addressed to someone should be given only with the goal of benefitting that person. It should never be given out of a spirit of impatience or irritability, or with a desire to belittle the individual. Only honest criticism given from a heart of love in a spirit of humility can qualify as that which builds up the other person.
I have been guilty very recently of criticizing someone for actions I believed were inappropriate. I still can't agree with the actions, but I do see my own arrogance in the way I criticized and responded to those actions. I was wounded. I got angry. I was impatient and irritable. And even though my intent was not to belittle, I think that if I had been on the receiving end of my own words, I would have received them as belittling. I have asked forgiveness personally from those whom I hurt and offended with my words. So talking about this on my blog isn't about making it right. But that situation came quickly to my mind as I read the above paragraph. And I don't want to hide my own faults when they can be used as the best illustration of this point. I don't want a spirit of pride or arrogance to take hold of my heart.
Which of us, then, does not offend frequently with our tongue? The real problem, however, is not our tongues but our hearts. Jesus said, "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34). So it would not be sufficient to win control over our tongues, even if we could. We must recognize the sin in our hearts.
Bridges gives many more examples of "refined" sins. I won't try to list all of them. The point is that all sin grieves God, even the sins we commit with hardly any sense of shame or guilt. He explains, "I am not suggesting that being irritable at one's spouse is as serious as something like adultery. I am saying that being irritable at one's spouse is sin, and that all sin grieves God and should grieve us."
And then there is our failure to exhibit the positive traits of Christian character; love, gentleness, kindness, patience, and humility.
Jesus not only gave us the story of the Pharisee and the tax collector, but also the story of the prodigal son...He proceeded to tell us about the jealousy and resentment of the self-righteous older brother. Jesus' criticism of the older brother is implied rather than stated. But it is obvious that He puts the older brother in the same category as the self-righteous Pharisee. Yet the older brother would have qualified as an elder or deacon in any of our churches today and would have been highly regarded...
The problem with self-righteousness is that it seems almost impossible to recognize in ourselves. We will own up to any other sin, but not the sin of self-righteousness. When we have this attitude, though, we deprive ourselves of the joy of living in the grace of God. Because, you see, grace is only for sinners.
Bridges writes that he is often asked if, as Christians, we should view ourselves as saints or sinners. He says both simultaneously.
If we refuse to identify ourselves as sinners as well as saints, we risk the danger of deceiving ourselves about our sin and becoming like the self-righteous Pharisee. Our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9), and we all have moral "blind spots."
The point of all this, writes Bridges, is to determine, with honest candor and introspection, with whom we identify. "Obviously no one wants to identify with the Pharisee or the older brother. But are we willing to identify with the tax collector and the prodigal son, as sinners deeply in need of the grace and mercy of God?...Are we willing to acknowledge that even our righteous acts are no more than filthy rags in the sight of God (Isaiah 64:6)?"
Bridges quotes John Owen, a Puritan theologian, to show the sinfulness (self-serving motives) even in our good works. "...Believers know all their duties are weak, imperfect and unable to abide in God's presence. Therefore they look to Christ as the one who bears the iniquity of their holy things, who adds incense to their prayers, gathers out all the weeds from their duties and makes them acceptable to God." In the closing paragraph of this chapter, Bridges writes:
As another Puritan preacher was reputed to have said, "Even our tears of repentance need to be washed in the blood of the Lamb."
Humbling ourselves and esteeming others above ourselves is like an exercise. I believe it starts out painful and does not come natural to us. Using the analogy of physical exercise, it always hurts to use new muscles. But humility grows less painful through repetition. I want humility in my life, so I want to embrace the opportunities to practice it.
There is always the risk of pain and vulnerability when we love others. I have not found rejection to bring any less pain through practice or repetition--so far, at least. But I still want to love.
And if we sincerely desire to see ourselves as God sees us, this may be the most painful and humbling endeavor of all. Because we want to believe ourselves to be good people. I know I do. And I don't know about you, but I have always wanted others to think I'm a good person.
As I typed those last few sentences, my mind went back to a conversation I had with a Christian counselor a number of years ago. I've probably told this on my blog before, but he asked me to tell him the three most important things in my life. I said that pleasing God was most important, being a good person was second and, probably, being a good person in the eyes of others was third. I believed my list was good. Why wouldn't I want to be thought of as a good person by others? Don't we all?
I'll never forget Floyd's reaction. He didn't exactly frown, but he looked sad for me. He kind of nodded his head, scrunched his face, and told me that last one was a definite problem. I didn't understand. I asked "Is it wrong to want people to think you're a good person?" To which he replied, "Did everybody think Jesus was a good person?" And I said, "Well, no." And the next question, "Did that matter to Jesus?" "Um, well, no."
He went on to explain that if what others thought of me, good or bad, was that high on my list of priorities, I would be motivated, at some point, to do the wrong thing or to compromise what was right in order to look like a good person in someone else's eyes. It is also much easier to be manipulated when we are that concerned with how others feel toward us. And, ultimately, it makes everything about us. I begin to anticipate how someone will respond to me, whether they might reject me, not love me or approve of me and then weigh my selfish desires against what is right, when they should not even be a part of the equation. That is making it all about me and my comfort.
Another frequent question I was asked in counseling was, "And who is that about?" I would describe a certain conflict and the way I responded to it. And he would ask that question. Time and time again, I had to face the truth about myself. I protected myself. I was trying to avoid unpleasant consequences (to me). I was enabling ungodly behavior because I was constantly trying to prove myself a good person and avoid rejection. Those are not fruits of the Spirit.
It was difficult to face the reality that so many of the things I was doing, thinking they were noble and right, were really all about me and protecting myself from unwanted consequences. Once I saw my true motivation, I knew I had to change. It was unacceptable to me to stay that way knowingly. But God had to reveal my heart to me. And I had to be willing to look at what He showed me. I had not realized what my true motives were. I thought I was being a good person. It was very painful to look at myself differently. But it was the beginning of a true change in direction, both spiritually and naturally. I started a process toward spiritual and emotional health with those first few steps. And the process continues to this day.
My friend, Janette, and I have had many deep discussions about how we are to view ourselves. Because she is my loving and devoted friend, she would often tell me that I deserve the new life God has blessed me with and I would say, "No, I don't." I wasn't trying to be humble. I truly do not see myself as deserving or worthy of any of God's blessings or rewards. I especially do not view myself as worthy based on my performance or obedience. We would go back and forth on this and I knew she was misunderstanding me, thinking I was terribly down on myself and having a low self-image. But that is hardly my problem. Rather, I believe the bigger problem is that I think more highly of myself than I should. And I want to counter that with the constant reality check that what I am truly deserving of is the death Jesus died. But, through Him, I have instead been given the blessings only His life can truly merit.
Bridges describes the two opposing attitudes of most Christians. "The first is a relentless sense of guilt due to unmet expectations in living the Christian life. People characterized by this mode of thinking frequently dwell on their besetting sins or on their failures...The other attitude is one of varying degrees of self-satisfaction with one's Christian life. We can drift into this attitude because we are convinced we believe the right doctrines, we read the right Christian books, we practice the right disciplines of a committed Christian life, or we are actively involved in some aspect of Christian ministry and are not just 'pew sitters' in the church."
Bridges explains that we may become self-righteous because we are not guilty of gross forms of sin; therefore, "we can begin to feel rather good about our Christian lives. When we think in this manner we are in danger of becoming like the Pharisee in Jesus' well-known parable (Luke 18:9-14)."
The Pharisee was committed in his religious practices. He fasted. He was not a robber, evildoer, or adulterer, and he gave a tenth of all his income. "To use our good-day-bad-day terminology, he was living in a continuous good-day scenario, or so he thought. But he had one fatal flaw. He was self-righteous and, through Jesus' parable, has become the classic example of religious pride and self-satisfaction."
Unlike the Pharisee, the tax collector was painfully aware of his sinfulness...Not only did he not compare himself favorably with others as the Pharisee did; he didn't compare himself at all. He was not concerned with how he measured up with respect to other people. He was concerned with how he measured up before a holy and righteous God. He knew he stood alone before God with his sin, so he pleaded for mercy.
Jesus said the tax collector went home justified, or declared righteous, before God. He freely and rather desperately acknowledged that he had no righteousness of his own, so he received his as a gift from God.
This parable speaks to all of us who are believers. Bridges confronted himself and his readers with some of the "refined sins," as he calls them, that we accept in ourselves as opposed to the "gross sins" we are not guilty of. He writes, "These are the sins of nice people, sins that we can regularly commit and still retain our position as elders, deacons, Sunday school teachers, Bible study leaders, and yes, even full-time Christian workers."
He looked at his own life and the first thing that came to his mind was his tendency to judge and criticize others, even though he does not think of himself as a critical or judgmental person. "Perhaps that is part of the problem. This seems to be such an acceptable vice among believers that we don't even recognize it unless it is flagrant--and always in someone else."
This paragraph hit me particularly between the eyes:
Even criticism addressed to someone should be given only with the goal of benefitting that person. It should never be given out of a spirit of impatience or irritability, or with a desire to belittle the individual. Only honest criticism given from a heart of love in a spirit of humility can qualify as that which builds up the other person.
I have been guilty very recently of criticizing someone for actions I believed were inappropriate. I still can't agree with the actions, but I do see my own arrogance in the way I criticized and responded to those actions. I was wounded. I got angry. I was impatient and irritable. And even though my intent was not to belittle, I think that if I had been on the receiving end of my own words, I would have received them as belittling. I have asked forgiveness personally from those whom I hurt and offended with my words. So talking about this on my blog isn't about making it right. But that situation came quickly to my mind as I read the above paragraph. And I don't want to hide my own faults when they can be used as the best illustration of this point. I don't want a spirit of pride or arrogance to take hold of my heart.
Which of us, then, does not offend frequently with our tongue? The real problem, however, is not our tongues but our hearts. Jesus said, "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34). So it would not be sufficient to win control over our tongues, even if we could. We must recognize the sin in our hearts.
Bridges gives many more examples of "refined" sins. I won't try to list all of them. The point is that all sin grieves God, even the sins we commit with hardly any sense of shame or guilt. He explains, "I am not suggesting that being irritable at one's spouse is as serious as something like adultery. I am saying that being irritable at one's spouse is sin, and that all sin grieves God and should grieve us."
And then there is our failure to exhibit the positive traits of Christian character; love, gentleness, kindness, patience, and humility.
Jesus not only gave us the story of the Pharisee and the tax collector, but also the story of the prodigal son...He proceeded to tell us about the jealousy and resentment of the self-righteous older brother. Jesus' criticism of the older brother is implied rather than stated. But it is obvious that He puts the older brother in the same category as the self-righteous Pharisee. Yet the older brother would have qualified as an elder or deacon in any of our churches today and would have been highly regarded...
The problem with self-righteousness is that it seems almost impossible to recognize in ourselves. We will own up to any other sin, but not the sin of self-righteousness. When we have this attitude, though, we deprive ourselves of the joy of living in the grace of God. Because, you see, grace is only for sinners.
Bridges writes that he is often asked if, as Christians, we should view ourselves as saints or sinners. He says both simultaneously.
If we refuse to identify ourselves as sinners as well as saints, we risk the danger of deceiving ourselves about our sin and becoming like the self-righteous Pharisee. Our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9), and we all have moral "blind spots."
The point of all this, writes Bridges, is to determine, with honest candor and introspection, with whom we identify. "Obviously no one wants to identify with the Pharisee or the older brother. But are we willing to identify with the tax collector and the prodigal son, as sinners deeply in need of the grace and mercy of God?...Are we willing to acknowledge that even our righteous acts are no more than filthy rags in the sight of God (Isaiah 64:6)?"
Bridges quotes John Owen, a Puritan theologian, to show the sinfulness (self-serving motives) even in our good works. "...Believers know all their duties are weak, imperfect and unable to abide in God's presence. Therefore they look to Christ as the one who bears the iniquity of their holy things, who adds incense to their prayers, gathers out all the weeds from their duties and makes them acceptable to God." In the closing paragraph of this chapter, Bridges writes:
As another Puritan preacher was reputed to have said, "Even our tears of repentance need to be washed in the blood of the Lamb."
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