The question of "why that path?"

I don't know if everyone reading my blog scrolls down to catch all the comments. But we've had an interesting conversation going under the topic "Forgetting the things behind..(not easy). We are up to 21 comments (including my own). And I've decided to bring the conversation up to the top. The last comment under that post was Rachel's.

Rachel, I hope you don't mind if I quote you in this new post because I thought the things you said were so good and I wanted to respond. I wrote a response last night and then lost it when I tried to post another comment. So I thought I would just create a new post this morning.

Rachel wrote:

"The question about my past has haunted me since I left. I have wondered why God chose me to walk that path of false religion and abuse. At times I wished it could all be wiped away especially from my memory. Until Tim made me realize that its our life experiences that make us who we are. To hate my past would be to hate the person that I am today. Although I do not like where I came from and they do not receive any credit for the good that is found in me. Any good in me is due to Christ in me. God has certainly taken the bad and used it for good. A huge miracle is that we love and worship God. After all the crimes that were committed in his name. I have met so many people in our community that have been abused by religion and have completely turned away from God. The fact that we give God the glory for rescuing us is a testimony that can be used to help others who have walked the same road and bare the same scars as us.
P.S. I love you all so much!
Shari, I love your blog-It is always food for thought."

Rachel, thank you for taking the time to share those comments. You said so much in one concise paragraph. So many things you wrote resonated with me. I think you answered your own question (and maybe someone else's) with this sentence: "The fact that we give God the glory for rescuing us is a testimony that can be used to help others who have walked the same road and bare the same scars as us."

Many, many people have been harmed by religious groups. Not just the one we came out of. We all carry wounds and scars. And it is a miracle when any of us "land" in the gospel instead of in darkness. Just as many people carry other types of wounds and scars, too. The pain of rejection. The shame of past mistakes, broken marriages, dysfunction, all sorts of abuse. During every hard experience of my life, I have believed that not everything God allows me to suffer is necessarily even about me or what I need. But He is equipping me through my suffering to help someone else at a later time. And how could I ever have anything to offer a hurting person if I have never known their pain? Any time God has ever brought that thought to my mind, it has given me such comfort and resassurance that there is a reason He has not intervened. None of my suffering has been in vain. No part of my path is without a God ordained purpose. And the longer you've suffered, the sweeter the deliverance when it finally comes.

The most meaningful human comfort and encouragement we receive comes from someone who knows how it feels to struggle where we are struggling. So I thank God for the painful experiences He has allowed to come to my life. I wouldn't trade what God has taught me through my wounds for not having them. I'm thankful for the path He gave me. All of it. I would not be where I am today without the past that led me here. I can't be thankful for one without the other. And I am more thankful for His blessings, my deliverance and the gift of salvation because I have not always known His grace as I know it today.

What I have wondered at times is why I continue to reflect on the past and feel compelled to address what I came out of. It seems as though I would be so much better off if I could just forget about it and "go on down the road." For years I have viewed this inability to "move on" as, perhaps, something defective in ME. But I am becoming more and more convinced, especially recently, that God does not want any of us to forget. He is going to use our testimony for the deliverance of many. If I just forget the bad and focus on enjoying my life as it is today, how in the world will that ever glorify God or be a testimony of His deliverance?

My pastor once told me, "If someone came to me asking about God's deliverance, I would tell them they needed to go talk to Shari Howerton -- because your whole life is a story of God's deliverance." God cannot use my testimony if I refuse to share it. So no matter how many people from my past try to label me as "troubled" or "angry" because I keep talking about it, I have to be open to the possibility that God doesn't want me to stop sharing my personal testimony and proclaiming the truth of the Gospel. If God uses my story to deliver even one additional person out of spiritual bondage, it will be worth every false accusation directed at me.
I praise God for my testimony!