False Beliefs
I hope I can bring my thoughts together. They are many and they are all over the place.
Let me start by giving a brief explanation of my background. I was raised in a church that taught that Jesus was not God and was not eternal with the Father. He was the first creation of God. He never shared equality with God, nor does he now. I remember that when we sang the song, "There's just something about that name," we changed the words in one place where it described Jesus as "Almighty God is he!" to "The mighty God is he!" I know Jesus is called the mighty God in scripture. But he also referred to himself as "Before Abraham was, I am" while here on earth. That is pretty hard to get around, now that I see it.
In John's Gospel, Jesus is described as The Word. The Word was with God and the Word was God. On this scripture alone, I don't know how anyone can believe there was ever a time when Jesus did not exist. If God is eternal, His Word has to be eternal. His Word was not a creation. If God exists, His Word exists. But I never thought about the subject this deeply while I remained there. I was convinced I already had the truth and any study I did was to back up what I was taught -- definitely not to consider what the whole of Christianity believed about God. I have since discovered scriptures I never contemplated prior to leaving.
I was also taught that the purpose of Christ's death on the cross was to give me an initial salvation experience (forgiveness of "past sins") and an opportunity to be saved (or to "make it" to heaven). Making it depended on me. To obtain eternal life, I would have to live the same sinless life that Jesus lived. His life on earth was to be the example and the evidence that it could be done. If he could do it, so could I. And it was a requirement of God that I overcome all sin in my life and be in this perfected status, Jesus' moral equal, in other words, in this lifetime, to receive eternal life. If I died not reaching perfection in this life, I would resurrect at the end of the thousand year reign of Christ and have another opportunity to complete this process. (Only those who reached perfection in this life would make up the bride of Christ.) If one did not reach perfection after the resurrection, they would ultimately die again; this time for good. I was taught that nobody went to a literal hell because hell was not literal (just the grave or separation from God). Also, Satan was not a literal being. He was our carnal mind, which was our actual adversary. So, anyone who did not "make it" spent eternity in the grave.
When it comes to the belief that we could resurrect, still fail to reach perfection and ultimately die a second time, I never even considered that the Bible says every man is destined to die once and then face judgment. That scripture was not quoted to me. I don't know how anyone could read that verse and believe what we were taught.
I was taught that we had "the truth" that the rest of Christianity did not have. But before the Lord's return, God would give power to his true church and there would be a great harvest of people coming out of the false churches and into the one true body (which is who we believed and claimed, amongst ourselves, to be). It was not permitted for us to date and marry outside of our group. In order for us to have the blessing of the pastor, someone had to come into our group and share our "vision" of the truth before a marriage could be viewed as right in the eyes of God. There were also other requirements that I won't elaborate on in this post.
When I left this group, I was not convinced that their doctrines were false. I was confused about that. But I was beginning to seriously question many things I had been taught. (I left for many reasons that I won't attempt to explain in this post.) I experienced a lot of anxiety about whether or not God would be displeased with me for leaving the true church simultaneously with many evidences that I was being "led out." I believe this was because a lot of fear had been put into me concerning the seriousness of leaving this group. I remember many sermons about anyone who would leave "the body" to join themselves to "the harlot daughters." And all of my life, the harlot daughters were "Babylon" or "the religious world," aka, all of Christianity outside "the body." When you are taught that from a small child, as I was, it produces fear. But this was a fear I did not recognize or confront until I physically left and the anxiety manifested itself emotionally.
As a result of the inner conflict I felt for several years, I began to post some of my experiences on a website for people who had left this group. I hurt a lot of lifelong friends by doing this. They felt that I had betrayed them. Even though I never said anything that wasn't true. And I did not embellish the facts. I have many times looked back at that period of time and wondered why I felt compelled to do that. I still wonder if it was wrong. At that point, I think it was more therapeutic for me as an individual than anything else. I was working through a lot of memories and a lot of fears. I often regretted alienating people I loved and grew up with and wished I could just "walk away," as they wished I could, in silence and without causing them any embarrassment. I didn't really understand why I could not do this. Eventually, I decided that nothing good was coming from my participation in that forum and I ceased from writing about my experiences for quite a while.
Then something happened that stirred me to post on another website. I became aware that Neal Morse was about to release a new CD and the topic was the false church and the true church. Or, at least, that was my understanding of what the new CD (Sola Scriptura) was. I had frequently read the spiritual discussion message board on his website because Neal had come into my former church a few years before I left. I knew him and loved him personally. I believed him to be very sincere. But when I began reading about the message of his new album, I was concerned that he was taking the false teachings of this church global and that many new Christians would be influenced by these doctrines because they were fans of and adored Neal Morse as an artist. I recognized that he might have a special influence in many lives. Therefore, I felt compelled to post a few things the church taught/teaches that were not being openly shared at that point on the website. I did not want to harm Neal personally. I had mixed feelings about posting. But I felt a deep conviction that the truth was more important than anything else. And I posted what I was taught while in the same church -- as a heads up to readers. I did it anonymously, but when asked if I was the one who wrote it, I quickly owned my words. It did not remain on the website long. It was immediately deleted so that as few people as possible would have the chance to read it. But I have always been convinced that the people God wanted to see it, saw it. I gave Neal my word that I would never post on his site again. And I have not broken that promise, nor will I. Although, I do occasionally still read some of the discussions.
I did nothing but openly reveal the teachings of the church I grew up in. I did not slander anyone. I had no personal malice toward Neal. I still have a copy of what I posted and it wasn't personal or attacking in any way. It was simply an explanation of what I had personally been taught in the same church. But it was received as a personal attack and I am still viewed by some as an enemy, or as someone who left angry and looks for opportunities to air my grievances. When my post disappeared, the board was informed that the poster was a disgruntled, ex-member of the church and was personally attacking Neal on his own website. That was not true. I explained my reasons in detail privately, to Neal and his wife, but that wrong description of me was never corrected openly. I accepted that. But God eventually showed me one of the purposes He had in my post and what He accomplished through it. And that was enough for me. Of all the things I have ever shared openly, I know I did the right thing in posting those beliefs. And I've accepted the consequences.
There's a reason all of this is on my mind this morning. A friend sent me a link to an article about a book that also represents a false Christian message and a false Jesus. When I read this, I could not help but think about the seriousness of what I was taught all my life and how it shaped my relationship, or lack of relationship, with God. And I remembered a "Daily Thought" I received a while back and kept because it made such an impression on me. I will share it at the end of this post.
If you would like to read the article my friend sent me, here is the link: http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/thcourse.html
Yesterday I was listening to a Tim Keller sermon about Abraham praying for the city of Sodom. He emphasized Abraham's concern for the city and mentioned that it was the city he prayed for and never specifically for his nephew, Lot, to be spared. He talked about the exchange between Abraham and God. At the same time as Abraham feared God would be upset with him for pushing him with yet another request, because he knew God loved him, he had the courage to have a real relationship, one where God could challenge him even as he challenged God.
Keller talked about how so many of us in this culture make God into a warm, fuzzy concoction of what feels good to us, or what we feel comfortable with, and not a God who can challenge us or have authority over us. He made a statement about how it is no wonder that we hear things like "The God I serve would not..." or "My God wouldn't..." and then the sentence is finished with something the speaker would not do or say or embrace. This kind of God cannot challenge us and has no authority over us. And the reason is, we've made him into ourselves and not The Almighty God of the Bible. Of course there may be a warm, fuzzy feeling when one prays to him, even though so many do not consider themselves "religious" and do not feel the need to attend church or read the Bible. And the reason for the warm, fuzzy feeling is that we are, in essence, praying to ourselves if we are not praying to, and submitting to the authority of, the God of the Bible.
I know that I embraced a God that was not the God of the Bible at one time in my life. And I did not know who Jesus truly was for most of my life. I am so thankful God has revealed Himself to me and shown me all the scriptures that plainly tell me who Jesus is. I have repented for and renounced my former beliefs. But until I did that, I could not embrace the promise of eternal life. I remember sharing with my pastor how I could not truly believe I would go to heaven or see God because of what I had been taught. I believed what men told me about God and salvation more than I believed God's promises to me, plainly given in scripture. I allowed men to twist these scriptures into "It doesn't mean exactly what it says." And my pastor helped me to recognize that and repent for it.
This has become quite a long post, but I want to share the John Stott "Daily Thought" I mentioned earlier. I know that I was impressed to save it because of the link my friend sent me today and the way God used it to show me the monumental significance in denying who Christ truly is.
The fundamental doctrinal test of the professing Christian concerns his view of the person of Jesus. If he is a Unitarian, or a member of a sect denying the deity of Jesus, he is not a Christian. Many strange cults which have a popular appeal today can be easily judged and quickly repudiated by this test. The extreme seriousness of the lie is that a second denial is implicit in the first: he *denies the Father and the Son* (1 Jn. 2:23).--From "The Letters of John" (Tyndale New Testament Commentaries: rev. edn. Leicester: IVP, 1988), p. 116.
Let me start by giving a brief explanation of my background. I was raised in a church that taught that Jesus was not God and was not eternal with the Father. He was the first creation of God. He never shared equality with God, nor does he now. I remember that when we sang the song, "There's just something about that name," we changed the words in one place where it described Jesus as "Almighty God is he!" to "The mighty God is he!" I know Jesus is called the mighty God in scripture. But he also referred to himself as "Before Abraham was, I am" while here on earth. That is pretty hard to get around, now that I see it.
In John's Gospel, Jesus is described as The Word. The Word was with God and the Word was God. On this scripture alone, I don't know how anyone can believe there was ever a time when Jesus did not exist. If God is eternal, His Word has to be eternal. His Word was not a creation. If God exists, His Word exists. But I never thought about the subject this deeply while I remained there. I was convinced I already had the truth and any study I did was to back up what I was taught -- definitely not to consider what the whole of Christianity believed about God. I have since discovered scriptures I never contemplated prior to leaving.
I was also taught that the purpose of Christ's death on the cross was to give me an initial salvation experience (forgiveness of "past sins") and an opportunity to be saved (or to "make it" to heaven). Making it depended on me. To obtain eternal life, I would have to live the same sinless life that Jesus lived. His life on earth was to be the example and the evidence that it could be done. If he could do it, so could I. And it was a requirement of God that I overcome all sin in my life and be in this perfected status, Jesus' moral equal, in other words, in this lifetime, to receive eternal life. If I died not reaching perfection in this life, I would resurrect at the end of the thousand year reign of Christ and have another opportunity to complete this process. (Only those who reached perfection in this life would make up the bride of Christ.) If one did not reach perfection after the resurrection, they would ultimately die again; this time for good. I was taught that nobody went to a literal hell because hell was not literal (just the grave or separation from God). Also, Satan was not a literal being. He was our carnal mind, which was our actual adversary. So, anyone who did not "make it" spent eternity in the grave.
When it comes to the belief that we could resurrect, still fail to reach perfection and ultimately die a second time, I never even considered that the Bible says every man is destined to die once and then face judgment. That scripture was not quoted to me. I don't know how anyone could read that verse and believe what we were taught.
I was taught that we had "the truth" that the rest of Christianity did not have. But before the Lord's return, God would give power to his true church and there would be a great harvest of people coming out of the false churches and into the one true body (which is who we believed and claimed, amongst ourselves, to be). It was not permitted for us to date and marry outside of our group. In order for us to have the blessing of the pastor, someone had to come into our group and share our "vision" of the truth before a marriage could be viewed as right in the eyes of God. There were also other requirements that I won't elaborate on in this post.
When I left this group, I was not convinced that their doctrines were false. I was confused about that. But I was beginning to seriously question many things I had been taught. (I left for many reasons that I won't attempt to explain in this post.) I experienced a lot of anxiety about whether or not God would be displeased with me for leaving the true church simultaneously with many evidences that I was being "led out." I believe this was because a lot of fear had been put into me concerning the seriousness of leaving this group. I remember many sermons about anyone who would leave "the body" to join themselves to "the harlot daughters." And all of my life, the harlot daughters were "Babylon" or "the religious world," aka, all of Christianity outside "the body." When you are taught that from a small child, as I was, it produces fear. But this was a fear I did not recognize or confront until I physically left and the anxiety manifested itself emotionally.
As a result of the inner conflict I felt for several years, I began to post some of my experiences on a website for people who had left this group. I hurt a lot of lifelong friends by doing this. They felt that I had betrayed them. Even though I never said anything that wasn't true. And I did not embellish the facts. I have many times looked back at that period of time and wondered why I felt compelled to do that. I still wonder if it was wrong. At that point, I think it was more therapeutic for me as an individual than anything else. I was working through a lot of memories and a lot of fears. I often regretted alienating people I loved and grew up with and wished I could just "walk away," as they wished I could, in silence and without causing them any embarrassment. I didn't really understand why I could not do this. Eventually, I decided that nothing good was coming from my participation in that forum and I ceased from writing about my experiences for quite a while.
Then something happened that stirred me to post on another website. I became aware that Neal Morse was about to release a new CD and the topic was the false church and the true church. Or, at least, that was my understanding of what the new CD (Sola Scriptura) was. I had frequently read the spiritual discussion message board on his website because Neal had come into my former church a few years before I left. I knew him and loved him personally. I believed him to be very sincere. But when I began reading about the message of his new album, I was concerned that he was taking the false teachings of this church global and that many new Christians would be influenced by these doctrines because they were fans of and adored Neal Morse as an artist. I recognized that he might have a special influence in many lives. Therefore, I felt compelled to post a few things the church taught/teaches that were not being openly shared at that point on the website. I did not want to harm Neal personally. I had mixed feelings about posting. But I felt a deep conviction that the truth was more important than anything else. And I posted what I was taught while in the same church -- as a heads up to readers. I did it anonymously, but when asked if I was the one who wrote it, I quickly owned my words. It did not remain on the website long. It was immediately deleted so that as few people as possible would have the chance to read it. But I have always been convinced that the people God wanted to see it, saw it. I gave Neal my word that I would never post on his site again. And I have not broken that promise, nor will I. Although, I do occasionally still read some of the discussions.
I did nothing but openly reveal the teachings of the church I grew up in. I did not slander anyone. I had no personal malice toward Neal. I still have a copy of what I posted and it wasn't personal or attacking in any way. It was simply an explanation of what I had personally been taught in the same church. But it was received as a personal attack and I am still viewed by some as an enemy, or as someone who left angry and looks for opportunities to air my grievances. When my post disappeared, the board was informed that the poster was a disgruntled, ex-member of the church and was personally attacking Neal on his own website. That was not true. I explained my reasons in detail privately, to Neal and his wife, but that wrong description of me was never corrected openly. I accepted that. But God eventually showed me one of the purposes He had in my post and what He accomplished through it. And that was enough for me. Of all the things I have ever shared openly, I know I did the right thing in posting those beliefs. And I've accepted the consequences.
There's a reason all of this is on my mind this morning. A friend sent me a link to an article about a book that also represents a false Christian message and a false Jesus. When I read this, I could not help but think about the seriousness of what I was taught all my life and how it shaped my relationship, or lack of relationship, with God. And I remembered a "Daily Thought" I received a while back and kept because it made such an impression on me. I will share it at the end of this post.
If you would like to read the article my friend sent me, here is the link: http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/thcourse.html
Yesterday I was listening to a Tim Keller sermon about Abraham praying for the city of Sodom. He emphasized Abraham's concern for the city and mentioned that it was the city he prayed for and never specifically for his nephew, Lot, to be spared. He talked about the exchange between Abraham and God. At the same time as Abraham feared God would be upset with him for pushing him with yet another request, because he knew God loved him, he had the courage to have a real relationship, one where God could challenge him even as he challenged God.
Keller talked about how so many of us in this culture make God into a warm, fuzzy concoction of what feels good to us, or what we feel comfortable with, and not a God who can challenge us or have authority over us. He made a statement about how it is no wonder that we hear things like "The God I serve would not..." or "My God wouldn't..." and then the sentence is finished with something the speaker would not do or say or embrace. This kind of God cannot challenge us and has no authority over us. And the reason is, we've made him into ourselves and not The Almighty God of the Bible. Of course there may be a warm, fuzzy feeling when one prays to him, even though so many do not consider themselves "religious" and do not feel the need to attend church or read the Bible. And the reason for the warm, fuzzy feeling is that we are, in essence, praying to ourselves if we are not praying to, and submitting to the authority of, the God of the Bible.
I know that I embraced a God that was not the God of the Bible at one time in my life. And I did not know who Jesus truly was for most of my life. I am so thankful God has revealed Himself to me and shown me all the scriptures that plainly tell me who Jesus is. I have repented for and renounced my former beliefs. But until I did that, I could not embrace the promise of eternal life. I remember sharing with my pastor how I could not truly believe I would go to heaven or see God because of what I had been taught. I believed what men told me about God and salvation more than I believed God's promises to me, plainly given in scripture. I allowed men to twist these scriptures into "It doesn't mean exactly what it says." And my pastor helped me to recognize that and repent for it.
This has become quite a long post, but I want to share the John Stott "Daily Thought" I mentioned earlier. I know that I was impressed to save it because of the link my friend sent me today and the way God used it to show me the monumental significance in denying who Christ truly is.
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The Fundamental TestThe fundamental doctrinal test of the professing Christian concerns his view of the person of Jesus. If he is a Unitarian, or a member of a sect denying the deity of Jesus, he is not a Christian. Many strange cults which have a popular appeal today can be easily judged and quickly repudiated by this test. The extreme seriousness of the lie is that a second denial is implicit in the first: he *denies the Father and the Son* (1 Jn. 2:23).--From "The Letters of John" (Tyndale New Testament Commentaries: rev. edn. Leicester: IVP, 1988), p. 116.
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