Comments

I find myself wide awake at 4:00 AM. I never used to be awake in the middle of the night. They tell me it's one of those middle-age things. But more and more frequently, I find myself waking up and knowing I will be awake for a while. So here I sit with my laptop, while half-watching headline news.

There are two comments under my previous post. You will need to read them to understand what I'm responding to. I was not aware that anyone with any animosity toward me was reading my blog, although I certainly knew it was possible. Actually, I think the comment was specifically intended for Danny. But it could apply to me as well.

I want to make it clear that I welcome anyone's comments here. And anyone is certainly welcome to read. I tried to read the comment with an open heart. I well remember how I used to feel. Therefore, it is not hard at all for me to understand how certain people feel toward me or why. But the more I contemplate the specific comment that was left by anonymous, the more ironic it becomes to me.

Anonymous, I am writing specifically to you if you are reading this. The irony of your comment is that what you describe IS the way I grew up -- believing that we had the truth everyone else lacked, that we were "the garner" for everyone who would ultimately "come out of her" and be saved. We wrote and sang songs about this. It was taught that there was little value in crusades like Billy Graham's because after new converts repented and asked Christ to come into their hearts, they were told to go back to their local churches (where they would not receive the truth and would be led to believe false doctrine about salvation). Where once there was more emphasis given to our right doctrine and being in the right church than to repentance and finding Christ, it amazes me to hear some of the same people now trying to downplay or even deny that emphasis. But to embrace these beliefs and then view someone else as having a messianic complex because of their conviction to share the gospel is amazing to me.

One cannot get any more "messianic" than to fear for people's souls if they do not follow a man to Tennessee or to say that the lights were going out on the state of California because we were leaving. Maybe some people just forget about such statements. I have not and I cannot.

My intent is not to harm anyone. This is a personal blog where I share my own personal testimony and what God is doing in my life. If I have personally done something to you that I need to ask forgiveness for, please communicate that to me. But I don't think I owe anyone an apology for sharing my own background and beliefs on my own personal blog. Nobody is forcing you to read it.

When I believed that I had the truth and was in the true church, nobody I went to church with considered that to be arrogant. When we called everyone outside of "the body" Babylon, I guess that was not arrogant. I remember many testimonies about how special WE were and the comparisons to other poor Christians out there "who think they have a relationship with God." (That is a direct quote from the pulpit that I will never forget.) However, when one leaves and openly confronts those teachings, we become arrogant persons with a messianic complex because we believe we have found the true gospel and want to proclaim it.

I do not mean to sound sarcastic. In all sincerity, I find that to be one of the biggest and most confusing ironies of all. And I welcome more dialogue from you or anyone else reading who objects to what I have shared.

***I am obviously making an assumption that the anonymous comment came from someone I know who was offended by this blog. Although, there is no way for me to know that. In the light of day, I'm wondering if I should have even responded to the comment. And I have even considered deleting the last couple of posts. My intent is not to inflame people.***

Comments

Anonymous said…
Shari, I don't see how you could have offended anyone. You're only sharing the teachings and beliefs of the former church you and I were in. Something I never understood is why, if they believe those teachings to be THE truth, they resist that word getting out or sometimes go as far as to out-and-out lie by denying their beliefs.

Janette

You have to wonder about a group that is so reluctant to own their beliefs that the only thing they can do is cry foul when you shine a light on them.
Janette said…
My signature somehow ended up in the middle of my post, rather than the end.

By the way, Danny, I've struggled with the same feelings you have about wondering why I had to grow up in a cult and carry the baggage that comes along with it for the rest of my life. But as I'm sure you well know, there is no waste with God. He'll use it for His glory and will redeem all of our lost years.


Shari, my pastor says that only a wise man forges ahead without ever forgetting and learning from the past. Once I heard his sermon on using our past to dictate our future, I never questioned why I had a hard time "getting over it and moving on." I realized that I'm not supposed to. My history in that church (and yours) will continue, until we die, to be a learning experience and will shape our futures for the better if we allow it. I know I could not be this thankful for salvation and the Gospel had I not had the history I did. I don't want to forget because it makes my walk with God and the true revelation of Jesus and his gift of salvation that much sweeter to me.
Shari said…
Janette, as you know (possibly better than anyone because of all of our discussions on this subject), I have never struggled with why I had to grow up there. I have always accepted that as the path God ordained for me. And I believe He had a purpose for me being there.

Nobody gets through life without some kind of baggage. And without our struggles, we would never learn compassion for others or be equipped to relate, understand or help those in need.

But I know exactly what you mean about your gratitude for salvation and the gospel.
Shari said…
I meant to also say that I agree with your pastor's comments about learning from the past.